The Way We Were
by MD14
Summary: AU - McSwarek - They were married, now they're not. Sam's a cop, Andy's a nurse, and she's engaged to Luke. "Mom was going to tell me something last week, but then she had to pull some double shifts at the hospital, and I think she forgot." "And what 'thing' was she going to tell you?" Sam quirks, truly intrigued. "How you guys met."
1. Chapter 1

This is an AU **inspired by** (not based off of, not replicating) the movie Playing for Keeps. Andy and Luke are engaged, at a very different time in her life. She and Sam have a past, and a son. Also, Andy and Luke are NOT TPS, I had a tough time making that decision.

I SWEAR IF I SEE ANY SAM OR ANDY BASHING I'M GOING TO EXPLODE. This story has only just begun, and I'll try to clarify their past as the story continues, so please, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

* * *

He took a minute to brace himself as he saw Luke peek out from behind the curtains of the living room, and Andy waved to Cooper from the door. The small kid dragged his gear behind him, head down, definitely sulking. Sam hopped out of the truck, and met his son half way, and enveloped him in a hug that would force a smile out of him. Once he heard the kid holding back a laugh, he let go, and a ruffled a hand through his sons black wavy hair.

He got very lucky on the genetics front, the perfect mix of his parents. Andy's curls, his strong chin... 'thankfully' (Andy's words) a combination of their eyebrows. Not too bushy, not too thin. And more than anything else, Sam couldn't help but be grateful that Cooper got Andy's eyes. Andy's expressive, and innocent eyes. Those eyes were how he fell half in love with her the first time they met.

"Hey buddy," Sam smiled, draping an arm over his sons small shoulders. "How was your day?"

"Mom's pissed at you."

"Don't say pissed Coop." Sam scolded, as he dropped the trucks tailgate, and threw the hockey bag into the bed. Before Cooper could mumble an apology, Sam's picking him up from his under arms, and sits him down on the tailgate. "What's up kid?"

Cooper shrugs his shoulders once, and refuses to look up at his dad.

"Buddy, you can talk to me about anything. You know that right?"

Cooper nods once, and gets a wicked grin on his face, much like his moms. Cooper looks like maybe he's going to test that theory, with a cheeky answer, when they both turn their attention to the front door that just opened.

"Sam! He's already late, you've gotta go." Andy laughs, like it's stressing her out that he might be five minutes late to Squirt hockey practice.

Sam let out a sigh, and returned Cooper to the pavement, and he scurried off the passenger side of his dads silver beast. He shook his head and offered Andy a tight smile.

"I've got it, we're going. Don't worry." He was frustrated with Andy's tight schedules, and her frustrations when that plan is tampered with. One of the many reasons they couldn't be in the same space for very long.

He yanked open his door, and slid into the drivers' seat, and looked over at Coop while he put his keys back in the ignition. He knows Coop will break, he can't lie or hide anything, part of the Bambi eyed curse, yet another reason to be thankful for them. Though having a cop for a dad shouldn't be totally dismissed. He made a point of teaching his son right from wrong, and to use his judgment in the grey areas.

"Dad stop." Cooper whines, crossing his arms over his chest, and looking out the window to the house. Sam looks along with him, and Andy is trying to point at her wrist watch and wave them off simultaneously. Cooper and Sam chuckle at the same time. "She's such a nerd."

"You don't know the half." Sam smiles back at him, deciding to drop the matter for now.

The kid stayed quiet for the beginning of the ride, and pulled on the strings of his oversized hoodie. Well, Sam's old academy hoodie, the one that Andy adopted and stretched out while she was pregnant with Cooper. Imagine that on a nine year old boys frame, he absolutely drowned in it. But it was his favorite article of clothing ever since he found it in his moms closet a few months ago.

They were only five minutes from the rink when Cooper couldn't seem to hide whatever was going on from Sam any longer.

"Mom's gonna marry Luke." He whispered.

Sam felt his heart stutter in his chest, and if he hadn't had his son in the truck he may have let the truck drift into the other lane. But his hands reacted quickly, before the truck was too off course, and Cooper didn't even seem to notice. He schools his expression quickly. This isn't about him, it's about how it's affecting his kid.

"You don't want her to marry Luke?" Sam inquires, kind of hoping that that's it. It's not like he's threatened that the man will take over his role as a father. Maybe under different circumstances he could like the guy, but... he's with Andy, and that never sat right with Sam. And even though Cooper's disapproval might put a wet blanket on the engagement, he doesn't want Andy dealing with that conflict.

"No... Luke's alright. I just-" He stops suddenly, like he was about to reveal some huge secret. Sam doesn't speak, and just let's Cooper figure out what he's willing to reveal. One decision that Sam and Andy made together was to be sure he knew he wasn't being interrogated. That Sam had to make sure he could turn off that side of himself at home, and so far he'd managed to do things that way. Cooper was more likely to come clean to them when there was no pressure at all._ 'His mothers Catholic conscience...'_

"I guess, I just wanna know why you and mom can't be together. Or try again."

That was definitely not what Sam expected out of his mouth. Sure, Cooper was three when they finally gave up and split, but it seemed like any early memories Cooper would've had of them as a family would've been when they were fighting. Their divorce was so early on that he really hadn't known what their lives were like when they were happy, so how could he miss it?

"Your mom and I drove each other nuts. It seemed like no matter what we were talking about, we were screaming. You hated it, you didn't understand what was going on. So we decided that we weren't doing you any favors by trying to hold on, so, we decided it'd be better to live a part for a while." Sam managed to get all this out before he had the truck parked in front of the rink.

He got out his door, and Cooper did the same. Sam reached into the truck bed and hauled out his hockey bag. Cooper joined Sam's side and they made their way in while Sam continued.

"Eventually, your mom started to look better, you know? She started to wear that same goofy look she gets when you watch any commercials with puppies or kittens-"

"I know what you mean."

"Right, so, it seemed like the whole living apart thing was working for us, and even you too. And now she's engaged, so we must've been right." Sam tried to smile, and reassure his son that the families fall out was really as simple as that, even though he knew the complicated truth.

"But what about you, dad?"

"I'm doing just fine buddy. Besides, not a lot of women can handle my job." He says. If anyone can understand how hard his job was, it was certainly his kid. He would be gone a couple months at a time, sometimes without being able to explain. Cooper never once complained... to him.

They're outside the doors of the boys locker room, and he can see that half of them are already out on the ice warming up. A real role reversal in their lives, Andy's the one who's always on time now.

"Have a good practice kid." He says, patting him on the back, before taking his seat in the bleachers.

* * *

"Andy, I don't understand why you always ask him to drive Cooper to practice, he's late almost every time." Luke says, finishing untying his tie.

Andy sighs in response, and makes her way over to him, and slides the tie from around his neck, and undoes the top button of his dress shirt. Check her out, being the 50's housewife.

"Hockey is their thing. And he just got off shift. It's a miracle he makes it here in time, ever." Andy knows that Luke doesn't quite understand that the way Andy did. Her dad rarely made it home in time for dinner when she was growing up, at least not until after her mom disappeared. After that, coming home late wasn't just an hour, it was three or four, and there was usually a bottle of whiskey to accompany him.

"Alright, I'm just saying-"

"I think he's going under again." Andy says, interrupting Luke's next jab. He raises an eyebrow, wondering how she could possibly know that. He's not insecure about his relationship with Andy or anything, but he was almost always nearby when she and Sam had their talks. He did, after all, meet Andy three years after their divorce, so at least he knew there wouldn't be a threat of a second try.

"His truck looks washed, and the breaks didn't screech when he got here. Which means he tuned it up. He used to do that so it wouldn't break down on us while he was gone." She explained, knowing he'd want a little proof. Being an attorney does that to you...

"Guess it became a habit. Had this thing about taking it in to get looked at, too big of an ego for that. Mr. Fix It-"

"I got it Andy." Luke cuts her off, knowing she tends to get worked up when reminiscing about her relationship with Sam. She pulls away from Luke, and walks to the other side of the living room, and stands behind the couch, looking out at the front yard.

"I knew it was too long. Didn't I say that last week? He never lasts this long without even a short job. Cooper was just getting used to having hockey time together. And they finally re did his bedroom over at his place..." Andy let the sentence die, because she quickly learned that if there was one subject Luke hated, it was Sam and his job.

It had been a sore spot in their relationship from the beginning, and Luke had to learn to live with it. And most of the time it was fine. Till he left. The whole first two weeks after he would leave, Cooper would be beside himself, so Andy got anxious about Cooper. And then she'd spend the rest of the time trying to figure out if he was alright, and if something happened, how she'd have to explain it to Cooper.

Sam was getting better about being on the streets, Oliver and Jerry must've been keeping him entertained, it's been a year since his last stint. He used to be gone up to five months at a time, but then he managed to start getting smaller jobs, and he'd take two of those a year. Eventually, sometime in the last couple of jobs, it's been knocked down to three month-ers, once a year. She turns, back to the picture window and leans forward.

"He'll only be gone a couple of months." Luke whispers in her ear, hugging her from behind, while she had her hands braced on the back of the couch.

"It's just different now. I get why he started doing it, we needed the money. It paid much better than walking the beat, but then, even after we had some money in the bank, he kept going back."

"I know baby."

"It's been years. It's like he's addicted to them." She starts again, and Luke knows that she's too anxious and nervous to fight right now. She just wants to be assured that he's got his reasons, and it has nothing to do with Cooper.

"I've heard some of the detectives talk, between cases that deal with the guys like Sam help bring down, and they say he's the best. That undercover is an adrenaline rush like you wouldn't believe-"

"We used to be enough."

"Andy he was trying to provide for you guys." Luke found himself defending Sam a lot of the time, ironically, but it was always so Andy wouldn't say something she'd regret, something that Cooper might hear.

"Yeah, maybe at first... but it changed. He just changed."

* * *

A/N 2: Alrighty, reviews mean more to me than F&F's, so drop me a CONSTRUCTIVE line or question. I know I've been very vague about where their relationship went wrong, and who's at fault, and what not, but that's all coming. So pleaaaaaase, be patient there. THANK YOU!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: To address some questions,

Cooper is eight  
Sam and Andy split when he was three  
Luke and Andy have been dating for three years (taking things slow because, of course, she has a kid) and they do live together.

* * *

Sam and Cooper pulled up Andy and Luke's drive way just after nine. Cooper had been leaning against the window the whole time, quiet as ever, and simply listening to the radio. Eventually Sam undid his seatbelt, and nudged his son who appeared to have fallen asleep. When he stirred and smacked Sam's arm away, Sam got out, grabbed his gear and left it on the front porch, then grabbed Coop, and carried him.

Cooper was quiet all throughout the dinner that followed hockey, and made sure to dance around Sam's questions about Andy and Luke's wedding plans. When? Where? Am I going to be invited? All kinds of dodges and shoulder shrugs were coming Sam's way.

He knocks on the front door and waited patiently with his son koala-ed to his front. As Cooper got older, these kinds of moments grew more rare, and Sam would never admit he missed the affection Cooper used to show when he was younger.

He can still remember back when they were a family, and he'd get home from an op, and his little boys footsteps would race through the house from wherever he was and he would fling himself around Sam's legs. Those nights, Cooper and Andy wouldn't let him out of their sight, they would let Cooper sleep with them until he fell asleep, and take him back to his bed. They'd spend the entire night just holding onto one another, getting as close as physically possible. Half the time it was as platonic as sleeping, holding each other. Sam was exhausted by the end of most UC's.

But then the next day or week, or however long it was, Andy always had this bitterness about her. She would never say it, but he could tell that she resented him a little for leaving her to parent their toddler alone. Andy was a strong woman, and a great mother, and she was completely capable. It wasn't always the fact that Cooper needed his dad, though he did, sometimes Andy just needed him there as her husband.

He hears footsteps come down the stairs, and the lock turn.

"Hey." Andy greets brightly, until she sees Cooper asleep, resting in his fathers' strong arms. "Sorry." She apologizes, cringing. "How was it?"

"Can I put him down first? He's heavier than I remember." Sam laughs, motioning for Andy to move out of the doorway.

Andy's hardly holding back a smile, steps aside, and closes the door behind them, and takes him upstairs to Coops bedroom.

Luke is just stepping out of his office and into the hall when they're at Coops door, and he gives them a short nod and smile, before heading off into the bedroom.

They manage to lay him down, and when Sam turns to go through his drawers to find pajamas, Andy grabs his arm and shakes her head no. With a gentle pull on his sleeve, she's leading him back out the front door, and to the porch swing.

"I'll change him in a minute." She announces before flopping down onto the swing. It was a gorgeous fall night, and the air was still warm somehow, so Sam was simply in one of his trademark tee shirts. Andy was wearing denim capris and an oversized white cardigan. She sat there for a moment, just enjoying the breeze and the recently lit streets, and stared straight ahead. "Did you get to practice on time?"

"Don't I always?" Sam laughs, falling into the seat next to her. She's got her feet tucked up next to her and gives her temples a good rub.

"Yeah, you do." She laughs, before straightening back up, and clearing her throat. "I cook, I clean, I'm an excellent driver, and I'm great with tools." She does her best imitation of him. "I remember the pitch. It's half the reason I married you."

"Sounds about right." He laughs in response.

She fidgets with the sleeves of her cardigan, and turns herself, with her shoulders squared to him.

"Luke asked me to marry him."

Hearing the words right from her, was, harder than the surprise of Coop telling him. Like the minute she said it, admitted it to him, it was really going to happen. She was starting a new family, getting what she's deserved from the start.

"Yeah, Coop told me."

She makes a sour face that is mixed with guilt.

"I was going to tell you before you guys left, but then you were late. I didn't expect blabber mouth to rat me out first."

"Yeah, well he'll do that." Sam says, trying to look as unaffected as possible. "Nine year olds aren't great secret keepers."

"Oh god! I wasn't keeping it from you-"

"Andy, I'm kidding."

She's nervous, and he can tell, but there's something else there too. Five years with her and he still has trouble getting a proper read on her. Probably part of what attracted him to her in the first place. But he uses the same tactics he uses with Coop, no interrogation. He waits for her to come to him.

There's a silent lull and he knows that's his edge. Andy doesn't do so well with quiet.

He studies her face and notes that she's got bags under her eyes and the worry line in her eyebrow crease has been getting deeper and deeper these last few months. She's always been easily stressed, but this was something different.

"Are you going back under?" She asked quietly. She was turned away from him, and it was all he could do to not move the stray piece of hair that had fallen in her face, behind her ear. The worry in her voice surprised Sam. She usually expected it, but it never bother her like this.

"I've been offered a job, I haven't accepted it."

"Yet." Andy shot. Really when he looks back he think it might've been her who started the fights with her sarcastic attitude...

"We'll see." He says firmly, letting her know that he really doesn't know if he should go.

She's quiet again for a few moments, and then pipes up in the same timid voice as before.

"It's more dangerous, isn't it? That's why you're hesitating."

And really, sometimes he thinks she should've been the cop. She always said she considered it, but her dad worked hard to make sure she wouldn't be on the front lines. Besides her bedside manner was too good not to be a nurse. That lions heart.

"Yeah. And it's long too. I don't want to be away from Coop." He says, knowing that irks Andy that he could be away at all.

But she sits there quietly, nodding, assessing.

"When would you have to leave?"

"Boyd says it's in the early stages. It would be a month or two."

"How dangerous?"

"Unlike anything I've ever done." He says, not bothering to tone it down. Andy could always see through his crap. Her dad was a cop, she hated when people down played danger. She'd rather be hurt with the facts than lied to.

"You end up my ER, and I'll kill you." She laughs without humour.

"Andy, I haven't decided-"

"Cut the crap Sam. You're going to take it. I know you." She says, not bothering with pleasantries anymore. "You missed the whole second trimester of my pregnancy."

"Andy, we needed to move out of your dads place. And if something had happened, I would've -"

"I know. I know, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to throw it back at you. I'm just saying you're capable."

Sam hates it when she does this. She'll talk about when he wasn't there, just enough to make him guilty, and then try and take it back. They knew just how to push each other's buttons, and what's worse is that they did intentionally to hurt the other. That's how the fights kept escalating, that's where they fell apart.

"There wasn't as big a risk those times." Sam says, leaning closer to her, forcing her to listen to him. She looks back up to his onyx eyes that are boring into hers. "I'm not going to let this job take me away from my son. I think we both know I've missed enough. It'd kill me if he started calling Luke dad, no offence."

Andy nodded sympathetically. Sam hadn't held a steady enough relationship to allow any of his girlfriends even meet Coop. She couldn't even imagine what it would be like if Coop had another mother figure in his life. It was selfish of her, but she was grateful that his job would never allow her to know.

"I should get going. You should wake him up, get his teeth brushed. He had a cavity and last time the dentist said-"

"I know Sam. I'm on it." Andy assured him, a bit annoyed.

"Goodnight, and uh, congratulations."

"Goodnight."

* * *

Andy was standing in the door jamb of Coopers room, watching his chest rise and fall steadily. How could they have made such a sweet boy? Not tainted by their relationship, or his dads job, even hers. Both of them being shift workers, spending a lot of his days in day care, or at Tommy's.

She was so lost in her own thoughts, that she failed to notice him stirring, probably from the light in the hall.

"Mom?"

"Yeah buddy. You fell asleep on your way home. I'll grab you some pajamas." She whispered, going straight for his dresser. She tosses them towards the bed, and leans against the drawers, waiting to take him to brush his teeth. Somebody has to prop him up.

"Coach work you extra hard?"

"Yeah." He mumbled sleepily. He's got his shirt on, and when he stands to take his jeans off, he stumbles a little. "Mom, could you, maybe..."

"Oh come on!" She mumbles, turning around to give him a minute. "Baby, I bathed you, changed your diapers, I've seen it all."

He laughs at her antics. She does it all for show.

"I made you." She says a little louder at his laugh, smiling all the while. He laughs even harder, and then walks up behind and hugs her tightly. "Hey, what's that for?"

He shrugged his shoulders as she turned around to face him. She dipped her knees, and pulled his chin to look her in the eyes, but he just had a shy smile.

"You okay?" She asks again, hoping that if she drills at him enough to open up. "Want me to tuck you in?"

"Mom, I'm almost nine, I don't need you to tuck me in."

Andy didn't usually tuck him in, hasn't for a long time. But she always babied him a bit when she knew Sam was gearing up to go. It obviously did nothing for Coop, he was sad to see him go either way, but it made her feel less terrible about letting him.

She waited for him to go brush his teeth, turned down his bed, and sat at its foot. When he came back in, she patted his sheet, and he climbed right in. Andy threw his red top sheet on top of him, followed by his comforter, while he burrowed down into his pillow.

"Mom?"

"Yeah sweetie?"

"How did you and dad meet?" He asks, almost like he was expecting it to upset her.

Andy sighs, and tugs at a none existent thread on the sheet, and looks at her little boy, sleepy and waiting.

"We met at a bar."

"No mom, like the whole story."

"I was at this bar having lunch with Grandpa, and a really cute cop came in to pick up lunch. I made some comment about it, and Grandpa said it was a cop bar. A lot of his old division used to go there after work. So I dragged Aunt Gail with me just in case he might be there again." Andy announces to her son, all to quickly for his liking.

"You're not good at telling stories."

"Hey! I'm the best. It's just past your bed time. I'll tell you tomorrow." She promises, kissing him on the cheek. "I love you, get some sleep."

* * *

Two hours later, Luke sleeping right up against her, Andy's still awake. Replaying the day that met back in her head.

_She'd only been in town a week when her dad called her for the first time. Obviously her visiting Toronto had caused that, but she wasn't here for him. She didn't come back here to keep cleaning up his mess. Never the less meet him at a bar for lunch. But for some reason, she did. _

_She had been waiting at the Penny for what seemed like hours, but he was only ten minutes late. It was just her nerves. If she didn't have a lab after this, she'd be using some liquid courage, but she did, and she couldn't. Suppose she have expected him to be waiting, two scotches in when she arrived._

_When he finally walked through the door, he went to talk to the bar tender first, but rather than hand him a drink, he hugged him and received a pat on the back and motioned to where Andy was sitting._

_"Hey sweetheart." He said as he approached her, awkwardly slow._

_"Hey Dad." She said somewhat hesitantly. She went in for a small, gaped, hug, and let her father have at least that. He motioned to the bar stools, and she sat herself on one, waiting for him to do the same. _

_"Gotta say, I'm not thrilled that you wanted to meet in a bar but-"_

_"Sweetheart, I'm two years sober." He said before reaching into his pocket, and pulling out two small chips. Andy grabbed them off the bar to inspect them, not that she thought they were fake... whatever. She just couldn't believe it! "I've been in the program for a couple of years. It's different this time. I just wanted to be able to prove it before I started anything again."_

_Andy clutched the one year sober chip in her palm until it hurt. A piece of her couldn't believe that he'd actually managed to change, and another piece couldn't believe the relief she felt, that he did._

_"Dad, this is- It's a amazing." She grabbed at his neck and offered him a real hug this time. And he squeezed her tightly in return._

_"I missed you pumpkin."_

_"I missed you too."_

_"I know you said you weren't going away to school because of me but, I knew you were. And I understand. But maybe now you'll consider graduating over here?" He said, sure he was pressing his luck._

_"Yeah Dad, we'll see."_

_It was then that the back door swung open, and right in her line of view walked in a uniformed cop with jet black hair. His eyes were deep brown, nearly black, she could tell from where she sat. He was shaking the bartenders hand, smiling at him with dimples as deep as craters. God he was hot. She had to force herself to stop staring and turn her face away before she made a complete fool of herself, so she picked up the conversation with her dad. The next time she looked over to where he was, he was gone._

That had been his thing. She just didn't know it back then.

* * *

next: A look at the first time Sam ever saw Andy. And more! So please review, PM me, F&F.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry! I'm usually better about consistent updates, but for once I had a social life! I know, I can't believe it either. Anyways, just sitting here drinking ruby red grapefruit juice, so I ****_had_**** to write. **Also, I completely missed this every time I've watched, but in 1.05 Traci mentions that Dex was in NA (narcotics anon) I would like to hear more about his story...

* * *

It was the next weekend that Sam had Coop again, and he was starting to come down with something. He decided that the zoo could wait until next week, and made a small set up in front of the couch for a movie day. Thermometer, Kleenex, lozenges, water, juice, blankets, soup on the stove. He's prepared for whatever it is Cooper's got. He doesn't emerge from his room until noon that Saturday, coughing, wheezing all congested, and Sam tells him to go wrap up in a blanket on the couch.

Cooper sifts through the stack of DVD's Sam's put on the coffee table, and puts in 'Toy Story', before cocooning himself in a blanket. For some reason, Toy Story has remained Coopers favorite movie since Sam could remember him being able to understand it. He had a theory that it was because the little boys name was Andy, and they used to watch it together while he was gone. He was gone when the most recent one came out, promised Coop he'd take him when they first saw the trailer.

"Dad?" Cooper calls, hoarsely, from the couch.

"Yeah Coop?" Sam says walking out to where Cooper was curled up, drying his hands in the dish cloth.

"Come watch with me." He says, not bothering to ask. Coops not a spoiled kid, he just knows Sam doesn't say no often. He feels like he can't. He's never been Dad-of-the-year, but he wants to make it up to him now.

"Sure thing buddy. I just have to wrap up in the kitchen and then we're good to go."

He moves back to the kitchen to turn off the burners, and pours the soup into individual bowls, then pops them in the fridge. Ready whenever he wants it. He's about to wipe down the counter when his cell starts vibrating in his pocket. If there was ever one time he should've checked the caller ID, it would've been just then.

"Swarek." He says sharply, wanting to get whatever this was out of the way.

"Sammy, brother, I need an answer man, the brass wants lists by the end of the week." Boyd says on the other end, friendly... for now.

Sam knew the minute he told Andy that he needed to prove her wrong. Now more than ever. He knows he should've done it a long time ago, but with the missing time it seemed like maybe Luke was an idle threat, benign. But he was definitely active now, he felt too unnerved to pick up and take off for a year, leaving his family with some man.

And he can't do it to Cooper. He hadn't been under that long since before he was with Andy, and he wasn't sure he could hold himself together. What if the Leafs are in the playoffs and he's not home to take Coop to his first game? What if something happens to either of them and he can't get pulled because at least Luke's there...

"I'll have an answer by Monday Don."

"Common man, we both know it's going to be a yes. It always is. It's always the same back and forth-"

"If I were you I'd start looking at other guys for this one, Boyd. I'll see you at work." Sam hangs up before he can get another word in and walks back into the living room.

When Cooper sees him coming he lifts his legs up, making room for Sam to sit underneath. When he does, Coop lets his legs fall in his dads lap, and presses play.

Three movies, two bowls of soup, and one box of tissues later, it's dark outside but Cooper doesn't seem tired enough to sleep. Sam kept telling him to lie back and just relax, but despite his sneezing and lack of appetite he seemed his normal self.

"Why don't you go read, let your eyes get tired?" Sam suggests, exhausting one of his last options. Cooper rolls his eyes, and falls back into the couch cushions with another sigh. "Okay smart guy, what do you think would help?"

Cooper's evil grin comes back to his face, and for what feels like the thousandth time since Coop could talk, he's fallen into a trap.

"Mom was going to tell me something last week, but then she had to pull some double shifts at the hospital, and I think she forgot."

"And what 'thing' was she going to tell you?" Sam quirks, truly intrigued.

"How you guys met."

Sam sighs the minute his sons words hit him. He knows exactly what's going on here because having divorced parents himself, he'd tried every trick in the book. Reminiscing about the early days, at best, would cause couples to forget their past, and have history repeat itself. It was definitely worse.

"Please Dad. I know it was a long time ago and everything, basically ancient, but I wanna know."

Sam gets it, he does. He just doesn't know how to do it without painting some picture in Coopers head that they used to be good together. Luke was going to be his step-dad and it was a reality they both had to come to terms with. But never the less, he can't say no to his boy.

"Alright, brush your teeth, into bed, and I'll tell you."

That got Cooper up and flying to the bathroom.

Sam paces back and forth wondering how much he should sensor. Probably the part about the badge bunny hunting, and the flirting, probably not a real gentleman way to tell this story. He may have to elaborate. He moves down the hall to Coopers newly decorated room, and knocks on the door. After being allowed in, he sits up with his back against the headboard, Coop close to his side, and clears his throat to begin.

"Okay, you're mom and I met at the Black Pen-"

"God! You're just like mom! Why can't anybody tell a decent story?" Cooper says, head thrown back in exasperation.

"Well if you'd let me finish..."

* * *

_Sam hadn't been home from his UC long, he'd just gotten off of his third shift back, when Jerry had tempted him with a trip to the Penny. Friday night, they had Saturday off, the Penny was bound to be crawling with badge bunnies, a sure thing. So Sam got into his truck and followed Stella to the bar._

_When they're finally inside and seated at the bar, the badge bunnies are circling. Jerry's still wearing his badge around his neck, a beacon to call the surrounding women. Ever since Jerry and the wife filed for divorce they also agreed not to sleep with other people. Sam couldn't wrap his head around where they got off telling the other what they could and couldn't do when they weren't even together anymore. _

_But the divorce was finalized this morning, and Jerry was in the mood to hunt._

_"Sammy, I just need a wingman, common." Jerry prompted, buttering him up with another tumbler. _

_Sam, gratefully accepted the scotch but shook his head. "Saw Monica my first night back, and Boyd's already working on getting me out on another job so-"_

_"Yeah, Sammy I'm not saying you've gotta sleep with anybody, just make me look good." Jerry begged again, really doing his best to make a case of his need to have sex._

_Oliver was sharing a look with Sam, letting him know that it was a small favor for Jerry and that in the name of brotherhood, it was his duty to make sure no man was left behind._

_"Common buddy, Ollie's got Zoe, you've got UC's, and my wife left me. So what I've got is the opportunity to help the lonely women of Toronto, and I can't do that without my wingman." _

_Sam already knew he was going to say yes, of course he was, can't leave him hanging. _

_"Who'd you have in mind pal." Sam asked, biting out a fake smile. He watched as Jerry scanned the room left to right until he settled on the pool table across the bar. Three women were talking and shooting, laughing together. _

_They were all beautiful but it was when the brunette missed her shot because she was laughing at what the blond just said, Sam felt like that was immediately where he needed to be. Trying to put that smile on her face twenty-four seven. _

_Jerry picked up on Sam's pull to her by the way he stared, and just when he was going to ask his opinion of who he should go after, some guy wrapped his arms around the blond, tucking her into his side. Which left the women facing away from them. _

_"Alright, you keep the friend happy, I'm going after the one in the grey shirt." Jerry said, giving Sam the okay._

_Her back was turned to Sam the entire time he was approaching, and when Jerry got there first asking for a game, she turned and looked right at him. His heart rate picked up, and he watched her eyes go a little wide, and then a lazy smile appear on her perfect pink lips._

_Before anyone addressed Jerry, the blond excused herself, and pulled her guy out the back with her, with a silly smile on her face. _

_"Sure," Jerry's girl answered, unfazed. "I'm Traci, this is Andy."_

_Andy offered a 'hey' to Jerry and looked back over to Sam, a little more shy._

_"I'm Jerry, and this is Sam. We work over at the fifteenth division." Jerry is rather fond of dropping his job title in any situation, so Sam rolls his eyes. When he hears a small noise from Andy, he notices her trying to hold back a snort. They share a quick smile, unnoticed by the other two._

_"We're in the nursing program at York." Traci said, figuring two could play at this game. "Alright Jerry, us against those two." _

_Andy snaps back to the presence of the room and gives Traci this doe eyed look._

_"Common Trace! You know I can't shoot for shit." She whined, begging her friend to be on her team._

_Sam smiles wide enough that his dimples are making an appearance._

_"Don't you worry, I'll teach you everything I know." Sam whispered in her ear as he passed by to grab a cue._

_They wound up playing a couple of games, and their blond friend, who they later learned was named Gail, never reappeared. Sam had shamefully resulted to showing her how to shoot. Relying on the old move of getting nice and close behind her, and framing her body for the shot. She actually improved a lot as the games went on. He had her laugh and smile committed to memory, and the sincerity in her voice was a recording he knew he'd play back before sleep. And they definitely had something. The way she laughed at jokes that Traci winced at. The way they could stay quiet but roll their eyes at Traci and Jerry, hear the others sarcasm. But as it got later and later, and Jerry and Traci were getting cozier and cozier, the bar started to empty. _

_Jerry and Traci went to go get the last round, and finally they had a minute alone, so Sam made his move._

_"Andy, I was kind of hoping I might see you again sometime." He said, making sure to give her one last shot the dimples before she made up her mind._

_Her smile fades slowly and Sam mirrors her actions, confused actually, he thought it was going really well. He'd learned that her dad was a detective so she was used to the life of a cop. She was training to be a nurse so she understood shift work, and long hours. But more than that she seemed to really love caring for people. Like he had gotten a glimpse of how big her heart is when she started talking about the home she used to volunteer at._

_"I'm only here for a few months. I'm sorry Sam, I had a lot of fun, but-"_

_"Might as well make the most of it. Right?" He asked, smiling through the sting of rejection. He understood that she didn't want to get attached and then be forced into a long distance relationship-_

_Wow. How did he get that ahead of himself?_

_The right side of her lip curves up a little, like she wishes that was enough._

_"Look, Andy, I'm probably leaving in a couple of months anyways." It's supposed to make her feel better about saying no, but her smile doesn't grow any more, and her eyes lose a little light. He wants to convince himself that it's the thrill of the chase that keeps him pressing. He doesn't want to face the fact that she would be a game changer. And yet - "But, I'd rather wait it out spending time with you."_

_Her smile finally reaches her eyes, but those eyes are still lacking light, and turned down._

_"Sam, it's not that that doesn't sound like a good plan, a great one, but I'm still working at my degree, and the program is very condensed. I don't have a lot of nights like this." Andy said sadly, clearly wanting to betray what her head was saying to her heart. _

_Sam nodded in understanding, and took a step back, not realizing how close they'd gotten in the last minute. He also didn't realize that he'd grabbed hold of the hand she'd laid on his chest in her attempts to warn him off. _

_"Alright. I get it."_

* * *

"Dad that's a horrible story!" Coop interrupts, pulling Sam back to the moment. In all honesty he'd gotten so caught up in the memory that he forgot his son was even listening. He'd kind of hoped he'd dose off.

"Cooper, that's just the first part buddy. Me and your mom are anything but simple." He laughs, kissing his sons forehead. "You get some sleep, and if you're feeling better tomorrow, we'll head to the zoo, and I'll tell you then."

Cooper nods and releases a giant yawn, before turning onto his side to get some sleep. "Daddy?"

Sam turns around immediately. He hasn't called him daddy for a couple of years now, and it makes his heart beat faster. The way Andy's smile does - did.

"What is it?" He says with a hint of concern, afraid he might puke right now and ruin the moment.

"Can we invite mom?"

Sam sighs, not exactly wanting to have their current lives tainting the reminisces of their past. It was the one thing that was still left perfectly untouched. A place he was allowed to go and love her.

"We'll see how you're doing tomorrow. Get some rest." He says before flipping off the light. "I love you."

"Love you too."

He closes the door gently, and makes his way back into the kitchen. He immediately pulls his cell phone out of his pocket and dials Boyd.

He knows what he has to do. For his son, and his family.

"Boyd, I'm out on this one."

**A/N 2: Review! What do you think? Where do you think we're headed? What do you want to see?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to everybody for reading and reviewing, and I'm so sorry about my unpredictable updates. I'm doing my best. Stick with me though, and be sure to hound me if I'm not prompt :P**

Please continue reviewing, and enjoy!

* * *

Sam's been sitting on the couch for a good half hour, passing his phone between his palms. He's got Andy's number dialed, but he's wondering if its technically still socially acceptable to call at this hour? His mother always told him the past eight was rude, but these were the days of late night talk shows, and late late night talk shows. Andy's usually up pretty late anyways, surely his mother won't roll over in her grave.

When he hears a small noise coming from his phone, he realizes to late that he must've accidentally hit the call button in his little game of 'hot potato'.

"Hello?" A frustrated Andy questions on the other end.

"Hey, it's me. I'm sorry to call, I know it's late."

"It's okay, I wasn't asleep. Is Cooper okay?" She asks, suddenly realizing the only reason she should be expecting a call from him at eleven ay night.

"He's fine, doing better actually. I told him if he was feeling better we'd do the zoo in the morning." He says almost like he's asking her permission.

"Oh! Well that should be fine-"

"He wanted you to come with us." He says, and now she understands completely. "I told him we'd see, but I think he really wants you there. You could invite Luke too, if you want."

He doesn't really want Luke to come but, he probably minds the late night call more than Andy does.

"Luke's in Ottawa this weekend. And, it's my day off but, I have to go grocery shopping, and do the baking for treat day at the school-"

"Andy, it's fine, he just wanted me to ask. Also, he said that you were supposed to tell him, uh, to tell him..."

"What?" She asks, laughing a bit at how shy he's being.

He takes a bit of a breath, she can tell.

"The story of how we met."

The other end is quiet, and Sam's not surprised, Andy's taking a moment to figure out if he's done that already. If he's gone down a road they can't come back from. If they're doing the right thing by letting Cooper into that part of the past when they should be making sure he's alright with the future, Luke.

"Yeah. I didn't get around to it yet." She sighs at last. Sam switches the phone to his other ear, and leans back into the couch getting ready to discuss whatever was bothering her. He just, knew.

"I started. Told him about the Penny. Told him I'd tell him some more tomorrow."

Ever since that night that Coop asked her, she hasn't been able to stop thinking about the time when they were just starting out. About how sweet he was, and how he'd understood why they wouldn't work out. When they met again, and she couldn't help but want him more for it.

"Maybe I should come." She says, taking Sam completely by surprise, herself included. "Make sure you tell it right."

She's laughing a bit, at him, he's not sure. But it's good to hear.

"Stop by around 10, I guess."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Night Andy."

* * *

And as expected, the next morning Cooper is shaking Sam awake... rather violently. After insisting he was better, showing him he had no bats in the cave, and that his temperature was back to normal, he made himself toast and scarffed it down in front of Sam.

Sam agreed that he was looking better, and sent Andy a quick text letting her know they were on. And Cooper raced to his room to get dressed.

Sam made coffee, put enough on for Andy's travel mug too, and made sure to get granola bars and a couple of apples to put in her backpack. She'll forget, and hate paying the prices for food there. She'll be meticulous in packing sunscreen, a hat maybe, extra sunglasses, wipes. She's a mom. But since sometimes she forgets to eat, she'll forget that their kid is a garbage disposal. He could eat for days on end.

It's 9:45 when Andy knocks at his door, and Cooper's still getting himself ready to go.

"Hey, you guys all set?" Andy asks, still on the porch.

Sam shakes his head, and moves out of the doorway to let her in, which she does, hesitantly. She's been in his place before, but between him being gone, and Cooper usually being handed off at their place, she never really comes inside.

Once she steps over the threshold, she smells coffee, and laundry detergent and Sam.

This is the smell of home she's gone without for six years.

"Coffee?" Sam asks, after disappearing to the kitchen, taking her mug out of her hands while she was taking in his living room.

"Yup." She smacks, resting on the arm of the couch while she waited.

"Mom!" Cooper shouts from down the hallway. She hears him before she can see him, and he comes crashing into her, knocking her onto the couch cushions.

"Well someone's feeling _a lot_ better, huh?" She laughs, tugging him to her chest. They're lying there together when Sam gets back into the living room with Andy's coffee, and allows himself to pretend that they're a family. He allows himself to get lost in the possibility that they could be a family again. Allows himself to believe that he never let this out of his grasp.

"My coffee?" Andy questions when Sam doesn't move. He's been staring at them for a little while, and Andy knows just what's going through his head, because it was going through hers the minute she stepped into the house.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

They've been at the zoo for an hour, and Coop can't keep still at any of the animals they've visited. He's constantly forging ahead, and they all know he's just excited about the wildcats. Lions, tigers, panthers, all of it. That's what he's here for.

Once he had them run half way around the grounds to the exhibit, Sam and Andy just sat back on a bench, while Cooper got as far to the front as he could.

"When did he get so big?" Andy asked, studying him amongst the other kids, brown head popping out above them.

"It's from my side. I'm the runt remember?" He laughs. Andy does remember meeting Sarah for the first time and thinking that she was kind of an Amazon. "So what's Luke doing in Ottawa?" He asks at last, not able to take the silence that emanated without Cooper to talk to or about.

"His moms birthday." She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. Sam raises his eyebrows, but doesn't say a word. Knows Andy will elaborate, but she takes her sweet time. "Woman hates me. Thinks that dragging Luke into a relationship with a single mom is the worst thing for him. I'm the devil, blah, blah, blah."

Sam laughs at her briefly until he knows that she's more than irritated by this woman.

Sam's never really known that problem. When woman did find out about his son, it always made a stronger attraction. From the time Coop was a baby, whenever Andy wasn't there he was getting hit on left, right and center, despite the wedding band.

"Yeah well, moms get that way."

"I would never do that to Cooper." She insists, giving Sam a pointed look, and he knew it was time to shut up and agree. "Think he was faking?"

"It's possible." Sam says, knowing exactly the lengths Coop would go to for the results he wanted, and those results happened to be a day at the zoo with his mom and dad. No harm no foul, he didn't miss school.

"He could've just asked." Andy says, watching as Cooper smiles over his shoulder at his parents. They each gave him a small wave, and noted the look of pride on his face.

"No he couldn't have Andy. You would've made excuse after excuse. Like you did last night." Sam sighs, looking back her way. "Is it really that bad to be around me?"

She can tell by the look in his eyes that he might actually be crushed that they can't even be around one another without Cooper.

"No. I guess that's the problem." She says, almost under her breath when she notices Cooper running towards them, clearly ready for whatever's next.

* * *

What's next is lunch, and Sam runs to grab some hot dogs, while Andy tries to make Cooper eat the bar and apple first. They get set up on the grass, on a thin blanket Sam thought to bring last minute, and waited for Sam to come back.

When he does, Cooper eats his dog so fast Andy's concerned he might be sick for real, and he waits patiently for his parents to catch up. And since Coops got both of his parents, he's feeling a little spoiled today.

Cooper asks for soda, Andy tosses him the water bottle, he wants dessert, she offers up another apple.

But when he asks for the next part of the story, she turns to Sam.

This one she can't field alone.

Cooper leans back against Andy and they both get comfy, looking to Sam to start.

* * *

_It was six months, after the first time, that they saw each other again. He'd managed to get a short undercover assignment, and had been back a month when he saw her. And surprised Sam was. She was meant to be in Toronto for four months, but here she was right in front of him, waiting in line at Starbucks. He was in uniform and Oliver was waiting in the squad, but that was the furthest thing from his mind. He doesn't remember planning his next line, or even tapping her on the shoulder, but he did._

_"You know, it's dangerous lying to cops McNally." He says before she's even turned the whole way around._

_She purses her lips suppressing a smile then her grin breaks full out when he flashes her his dimples._

_"Hi Sam." She said, eyes sparkling more than he remembered. Her mega watt smile was sweeping him off his feet again._

_"So, you dodging me?" He smiled, unable to hold back his own smile._

_"What ever do you mean?" She said, playing coy, giving him her best innocent voice._

_"Only in town for a semester..."_

_She laughed this adorable little laugh and returned her focus to the front of the line, placing her order. Then back to Sam._

_"I didn't lie." She said before walking over to wait for her drink._

_Sam grabbed his and Oliver's coffees, and joined her in the wait._

_"I **was** going to stay for one semester, but my dad asked me to stay." She admitted._

_He laughed and bumped her shoulder._

_"That's why you should take peoples numbers McNally, in case."_

_Her smile fell a little bit, and Sam doesn't know where he went wrong._

_"Nothing's changed, Sam, I'm still focusing on school."_

_"I'll help you study."_

_"I can't go out much."_

_"I'll bring the dates to you." He insisted, not willing to give in until she agreed. At each instant of persistence her smile returned, until she was biting down on her lip, seriously considering his offers._

_"C'mon Andy. If it's getting in the way, we'll cool things. I just want to give this a shot." He said, hoping it was enough to get her to agree. "Six months, an undercover, and I still can't forget that smile."_

_She dropped her head, trying to desperately hide her blush. It's not the first time someone's said something of the sort to her, but for the first time she knew it was sincere._

_"Okay." She said at last holding out the palm of her hand._

_"Not a big hand holder McNally." He said, looking at it with smile on his face. She rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue._

_"Your phone, smart guy." _

_He digs into the side pockets of his uniform pants, and hands her phone, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling so hard it splits his jaw. _

_"This weeks kind of crazy, but, maybe next weekend? Doesn't matter what shift your working, I'm up late." She suggested, handing him the phone again. _

_"Crazy week, a lot of midterms?"_

_"Why else would I be buying lattes at 8pm on a Tuesday? Ugh, so much work to do ." She whined as her order was called and placed on the counter. _

_"Hey me too, I'm on duty right now. Got my partner waiting on me." He said, looking for some sympathy. But all he gets is a snort. He's not even turned off by it, it's endearing._

_"Aw that's cute. You have to sit in a car all night." She said, pretending to pout. _

_He smirked back at her, before looking over his shoulder, to where Oliver was parked. Oliver was leaning back against the driver's side door, gesturing at his watch. Sam nods his head slightly in Andy's direction, and Oliver threw his hands up in surrender, and hopped back into the car._

_"I'll call you next week." He said before turning away and walking out._

_"I'll be waiting by the phone." She called, wishing at the last second that she hadn't, and hoping he could tell she was kidding._

* * *

"Smooth dad." Cooper says rolling his eyes at Andy, who's giggling at her son. "I mean you always said we have a natural charm, but you had to use strategy and logic to get mom. She wasn't falling for the family dim-"

"Baby, your dad did his best. But school came first for me. It's not always about dating and relationships. Remember that, school first!" Andy scolds, distracting him from his quest to embarrass his father. Sam shoots them both a smile, Coopers a little more sarcastic that Andy's.

"Okay, so what happened next?" Cooper asks, giving his father his full attention once again.

Sam let out a breath, knowing it wouldn't just stop here. He wants to know it all. Every little detail and he probably wouldn't stop.

* * *

_Andy did wait by her phone, in a way. Brought it with her when she left rooms, took into the bathroom while she showered. She didn't want to miss it, so she stared at the screen while she blow dried her hair. She didn't have to wait long, he called the next night right after his shift, and set up a dinner for next Friday like they'd discussed. But Andy found herself impatient to see him again, so... _

_"How about bringing dinner to me and helping me study?" She suggested, hoping he'd really meant it._

_"Chinese, Thai or pizza?" He asked, almost immediately._

_He heard her amazing laugh on the other end and smiled._

_"I thought I was getting a home cooked meal..."_

_He's surprised at that. He **can** cook, it's just something he usually uses later on to really surprise women, kind of seal the deal._

_"Well, then a home cooked meal you'll get." He laughed right back at her._

_"Oh, no, Sam, I was kidding-"_

_"Yeah, well I'm not. I'll see you in an hour Andy." He said happily, not giving her the opportunity to argue any further._

_And surely, there he was on her doorstep at 6pm grocery bags in hand. He gave her his dimpled smile, and she smiled back and let him in._

_She sat in the kitchen studying her cue cards, teasing Sam, and listening to some of his work stories. He had this way of making her laugh with the stories of his closest friends in the academy. _

_Some of the initiations and rites of passage they had to suffer through... The many times Jerry had to bet his facial hair when they first got invited to poker with the senior officers. Oliver stoping in for a snack and wound up busting a robbery in progress his first week on the job. His good friend Noelle getting the most collars as a rookie. _

_And she told him about her friends too. Traci, her best friend, hardest working woman she's ever known. The many jobs she had to work to be able to pay for school and support her son. Traci and Jerry were still seeing each other, and taking things slow, but he'd met Leo now, and Sam was surprised when he said that that didn't change anything. _

_She told him about Gail, who'd be getting married in a couple of months to her military boyfriend who was shipping out only two months after the wedding. _

_She confessed to him like she felt maybe it was time to find something important to her other than school._

_And soon enough they were sprawled out in her living room amongst her textbooks and notes, her laying against him while he flipped through her cards._

_It was midnight by the time he checked his watch, and realized he needed to get to bed so he wouldn't be totally useless in the morning._

_She walked him to the door, and before he had a chance to turn the knob, she encased her arms around him, until he turned around._

_He moved his hands immediately to her waist, and pulled her even closer. Andy was so close he could move his head an inch and be on her lips. But she wouldn't let him. She got her hands on either side of his face to keep him still. Slowly she moved in and kissed him just feather light. And then one more time a little harder. _

_She controlled the pace until finally she was really kissing him. Lips desperate like she wasn't getting enough. He managed to get his tongue past her lips and then she really stepped up her game, turning them around so that her back was to the wall. Until finally they were both so worked up that if they let it continue for another moment, it'd be impossible to stop._

_They were still tangled up, and breathing heavily when the first words were spoken. His thigh between hers, his hands braced on the door, her hands fisted in his shirt, he swallowed the lump forming in his throat when he felt the heat rolling off of her body in waves._

_"I should go." He whispered, letting his forehead fall against hers._

_"Come back, **any** time." She said quite seriously, causing him to laugh._

* * *

For Coopers sake, they were smart enough to tone it down, tell him there was a kiss and then goodbye. But while Andy sat there listening to Sam recant the tale in perfect detail, her body remembered exactly the way it had that night. Every bump of his hips to hers, every inch of his perfect mouth...

"Well Dad, maybe you do have some game." Cooper announces, riding Andy's head of those memories immediately... for the better. "Sounds like a pretty good time."

"Maybe if organic chemistry wasn't involved." Andy snorts, not missing those days at all.

"Oh, we would have had chemistry regardless." Sam quips quietly, only so Andy can hear.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This chapter was going to be even longer, believe it or not, but I think it's more than enough for now. **

* * *

It's 1am on Wednesday that the shrill ring of his cell wakes Sam up unexpectedly. He just got off shift, and finally fell asleep after doing the pile up of dishes, and general cleaning that's been nagging him since the weekend. But as soon as he notices its Andy, he wakes fully, and whips it open quickly.

"Andy?" He says, sounding more desperate than he intended.

"Hey, sorry Sam, but Cooper heard something downstairs and he's freaking out and it's freaking me out and Luke's out of town again-" She spits out so quickly Sam has no idea what's going on, but he knows he's got to get over there.

"Andy! Calm down, tell me what's wrong." He says, already standing, trying to find where he threw his jeans and t-shirt. He's cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder, balancing on one foot while trying to slide the other into his pant leg.

"Can you come? And just, make sure that everything's okay? I didn't want to call the cops and freak Coop out-" She sounds afraid, which is... unlike her, surprisingly. Always used to have this calm exterior that told everyone she's got it under control. Not tonight. Not in her voice.

"I'm already on my way. Stay with Cooper in his room. I'm going to come in without knocking, so don't freak out." He warns her as he races to his front door, grabbing his glock, keys and jacket on his way.

* * *

As he drives a thousand thoughts are racing through his head. There could very easily be someone in their house. Someone he's put away, someone Luke's put away, really the odds are stacked against them. But that's the last thing he wants Andy thinking. Doesn't want that getting into Cooper's head either. Doesn't want to think it could be his own fault.

It's already partially his fault he's not with them in the first place. A thought that's been popping up ever since Andy told him she was marrying Luke, two weeks ago.

He's not sure exactly how many traffic laws he broke getting there in five minutes flat, but it's a lot.

He turns off the truck before he's even out front, and the head lights. Puts the truck in neutral and let's it slide up in front of the yard.

He gets out as humanly possible, and tucks his gun into his waistband, just in case any neighbours should appear (and he knows that's not likely, it's 1am, but still). Digs into his front pocket for the keys, and slides them into the lock carefully, making sure to keep as quiet as he can.

He turns the knob cautiously and draws his gun once he's inside.

"I am a police officer and I am armed." He shouts, both informing Andy and anyone else who might be on the premises. "If there's anyone in this house, come out slowly with your hands raised. If you choose to hide and take me by surprise I am within my rights to shoot."

And while that may not be the whole truth, he's not even in uniform, it's certainly what's going to happen if someone takes him by surprise. Not taking any chances with his family. He moves to the kitchen where he knows there's a door to the basement, and searches his way from the ground up. He knows he taught Andy well, knows that she has her own gun, gift from her dad, and she knows how to shoot. If she had to get to it, she could.

He searches every room upstairs, turning on all the lights as he goes, and finally has the relief of knowing they were hearing noises, not a person.

"All clear," He says from the hall, waiting for Andy to open the door. The door opens slowly and then Cooper races to Sam, and Sam crouches down to hug him, make sure he's not too shaken up. What he doesn't expect is the hug from Andy after. It's brief, barely anything to read into, but he knows she's definitely shaken up.

"Thanks for coming." She whispers.

"You okay buddy?" He focuses on Cooper instead, knows he's got a long night of paranoia.

"Yeah," He says quietly, staying close to his dads side. It's obvious this wasn't one of his rouses to get Sam and Andy together. "Dad? Can you stay?" He asks, as though it would be some grand imposition.

One look at Andy and he knows she wants him there too, so he nods and they all walk back into Coopers room to try and get him settled in bed.

He went to the bathroom and Sam and Andy sat on either side of his bed. Sam studying the worry lines of Andy's face, and every perfect inch of her, while Andy studied the door, willing Cooper to return.

"It's okay that you were scared Andy." He says at last.

"No it's not. I was afraid because there was no man in the house. What does that say about me? So much for feminism-"

"Andy, all of your life you've lived with people who own guns and are trained in protection. It's not so weird that you feel vulnerable without that." He assures her, knowing the mental beat down she's giving herself. "I can take you back to the range sometime soon, brush up, or you could go with Luke."

She smiles at him a little, but it falls just as quickly.

"Luke doesn't really like the fact that I have a gun. Thinks it's too red neck." She laughs humorlessly.

Sam frowns at her, and she looks at him with a knowing look. Obviously tonight is the very reason they keep it around. With his and Luke's job, it makes sense.

He doesn't get a chance to say much else before Cooper comes back in and jumps right into his bed, between his mom and dad.

"What can we do for you baby? Do you need anything?" Andy asks, showering him in attention. He winces when she hugs him really tight, like he's embarrassed about it, but Sam looks at him to let him know it's more for her then him. She needs to feel like she's doing something to make it better.

"Tell me another story?" He asks, creating a moral struggle for Andy. She did say anything, but these stories weren't doing anything good in her personal endeavours. When they got home from the zoo, she knew she was distant with Luke. She found herself going back in time in her head and changing their pasts, changing all the things she might've done or said wrong.

Luke noticed that she was a little distant, didn't inquire, she didn't tell him about what they'd been telling Cooper, but he knew something was off. He didn't hesitate when a college friend called and said he needed a lawyer. Luke's required to do a little pro-bono anyways, so he drove down to London for the week to see what he could do. Was supposed to be back tomorrow night.

"Okay, how about, hmm, the sixth month anniversary." Andy suggests, giving Sam a raised eyebrow. He winces at that and inhales sharply through his teeth, before turning back to Cooper.

"Son, if you take anything away from this, it's that girls love milestones... even the made up ones." He says seriously.

Cooper takes Andy's elbow, and guides her next to him so he can lean back against her, almost like a security blanket. Their son is by no means a mama's boy, but he understands that she just wants to hold him, make him feel safe.

* * *

_It was later then he thought when he pulled up to Andy's apartment building after shift. A case popped up right before he was about to be off the clock, and the perp had dealt with Sam before, so Jerry dragged him in on the interrogation. But he was only two hours late, its happened before, she couldn't be **that** mad. Even sent her a text before he finally left the station telling her he got caught up._

_He buzzed her apartment, and told her it was him, he's got a surprise for her, and she didn't respond, but let him in all the same. That should've been the first clue. _

_The second is that when he got there and knocked, she didn't come let him in. She left him there until he tried the knob, and entered on his own. But he was an idiot really. Not a lot of experience with steady girlfriends. And it's a whole lot easier handing out advice when it's in theory..._

_She was sitting on the couch, sweatpants on and an over sized sleep shirt. What didn't make sense was her makeup. It was definitely a little more than her every day mascara and powder foundation (and god how does he know all that?)and she'd obviously flat ironed her hair._

_She had her knees tucked up under her chin, and a mug, most likely containing tea, between her hands. She looked over at him briefly, and then looked back to the TV, pretending to be absorbed in a Friends re-run. _

_"I stopped and got you that Hagensborg pig, truffle chocolate stuff you like so much. The peanut butter and jam flavoured ones too. Your favorite." He said, still standing in the entrance, shaking the bar in his fingers. She glanced back over at him with this look of hurt all over her face, and he felt like a dick for being so late, making her wait. _

_She'd said she wanted to do something nice tonight, and he'd even remembered to change into a dress shirt, but here she was laying around in her sweats, sulking at the TV._

_"Andy, what's wrong." He asked, moving to take a seat on the couch, but further away from her than he'd like._

_"You're late."_

_"I know, I texted you-"_

_"You should've called two hours ago when you knew you'd be late Sam." She said plenty of upset in her voice. _

_"I'm sorry, I didn't know you had something big planned tonight." He said sincerely reaching out to stroke her arm. He needs some kind of contact to know that she's okay, but when she pulls away from him, he knows he's missing something again._

_"Big plans? Sam, it's our sixth month anniversary!" She all but shouted to him before standing up and turning off the TV._

_He didn't actually know that that was a big deal to women, but apparently, he'd fucked up royally._

_"I made you dinner! I walked around in these stupid heels for forty-five minutes!" She said picking up a pair of shoes from behind the couch and flinging it at him. _

_"Andy I'm sorry. I didn't know we were celebrating it." He said after ducking out of the shoes path. "You should've said something, I would've-"_

_"Actually shown?" She suggested like it was the most obvious answer in the world._

_"I would've been here on time." He clarified, thinking it important that she recognized that he was here with her now._

_She had calmed down a little after chucking the stiletto, probably embarrassed about how upset she was, maybe realizing that she was over reacting._

_"Andy if I knew it was so important..." He said, daring to enter her bubble, and put his hands on her wrists._

_"It's not." She admitted, shrugging her shoulders and staring at the ground. He was right, there was definitely a little embarrassment. "I just haven't had a relationship in a long time, and I guess I think it's important that we take the time to remember how lucky we are-"_

_"Andy. I don't need anniversaries to remember how lucky I am to have you. I do that every morning. To me, people who need the reminder are cynical married people." He said, laughing when she laughed at the crack about married couples._

_"It's **also** about having a standing date that can't be broken." She said, firmly. "We're just so busy that I feel like we're passing ships."_

_He snaked an arm around her waist, and urged her to wrap her arms around his neck. He nudged her nose with his before resting his forehead against hers._

_"Can we have a do-over?" He asked, getting a hand under her over sized shirt to get a hold of her back, bring her to him._

_She just nodded, and kissed him._

* * *

Sam only stops when he notices that Cooper has fallen asleep. And he was hoping for it, because the next bit involved how he made it up to her all night long...

Andy nudges his foot with hers and nods her toward the door, and they both get up and make their way down to the living room.

Andy walks right around into their brand new kitchen and he hears a cabinet opening.

"You want a drink?" She calls. He hears her pop the cork on a wine bottle, and he knows she's not drinking for the sake of drinking, it's to help her fall asleep tonight.

"Scotch, please." It'll help him too.

She re-appears a few moments later with a glass of red for her, and a tumbler for him, and takes a seat adjacent to him on the couch. She takes a big first sip and swallows hard, looking to calm her nerves immediately.

For a long moment of silence, they just go over the last hour in their heads, grateful that it had just been a paranoia thing rather than any real danger. Sam would take that any day.

"Remember last time?" Andy finally asks quietly.

"Last time what?" Sam replies still stuck in his own head.

"My break in?"

He nods, he'd never forget.

* * *

_They'd spent their night at the Penny, celebrating their final exam of the program. Celebrating the fact that in a couple of months, they'd hopefully be fully employed at a hospital, making an income. Traci was there with Jerry and they'd asked Gail to come along because she'd been missing Nick a little more than usual. But he'd be home again soon, had plans to join the ranks of the Toronto Police Service when he was._

_So the boys had been getting to know Gail, make her feel a little more at home. Oliver had taking a huge liking to Andy, always calling her McNally, telling her stories about how hard her dad was on him. Told her how he would've passed that on to her if she'd been a cop. Circle of life. It's possible Ollie's had a few too many..._

_But they were exiting the stairwell on Andy's floor when she sees that her door is cracked open. Sam instinctively put an arm out in front of her, telling her to stay where she was. He listened for a minute to see if he could hear a body inside, but when he couldn't, he decided to check it out himself._

_He was about to push the door open when Andy grabbed at him shaking her head._

_"Call it in." She whispered, insistent though. She wasn't going to risk anything happen to him, and as usual he was trying to be a cop without a uniform. But he didn't bring his gun with him. It was sitting at the station, and he had no vest._

_He studied her face weighing what he could do next. And he knows he needs to listen to her. It won't do any good to storm in there without anything to protect himself, without the ability to arrest anyone who might be lurking._

_He sighed, and put an arm around her leading her outside to call the station._

_Everything was gone. Her TV, stereo, a couple of small appliances from her kitchen, anything valuable and small enough, gone. _

_She looks around her bedroom, and she had no jewelry of value, but they took the box anyways. Her clothing was all still there. Sam made a point of making her check her underwear drawer, make sure this wasn't targeted, and wasn't about anyone getting near her specifically._

_But everything else was intact. Her door was done in, and she couldn't stay there while the team pulled prints and got her door repaired, so Sam packed her an overnight bag while she sat on her couch, staring at the empty living room._

_He took her to his place, told her not to worry her dad till the morning. He held her all night while she let a couple of silent tears fall. Relief, frustration, loss. It's just stuff, but it's not like Andy didn't work for all that. She has student loans up to her neck, and she couldn't exactly afford what had happened. She feels silly for feeling so sad over it, because it could've been worse. They could've been back a little sooner and run into the guy. Sam could've gone storming in and gotten himself hurt, and she could have lost so much more._

_"Move in with me." He whispered, hoping she was still awake._

_"What?" Her tired and confused voice asked, digging herself out of the mental hole she'd dug._

_"Live here with me." He said._

_He was ready to do all the convincing in the world, and he was not just asking because of what happened... well it is but- _

_He might not have asked just yet if the break in hadn't happened, but he knows that he doesn't want her off on her own. He'd rather have her here where he can protect her, have his gun (he usually brought the gun home, but not nights he spent at Andy's), teach her to use one._

_"You sure?" She asked, not fighting, just wanting to be sure he's sure._

_"Yeah."_

* * *

They're sitting real close now, one arm each over the back of the couch, their shoulders squared to one another. She's resting her head on her propped up hand, wine glass nearly empty. He's leaning in a little too close and she can smell the scotch on his breath.

She can smell him, and his laundry detergent, and she remembers what it was like to lay in bed with him every night. Remembers him rubbing and talking to her baby bump when he got home and she was seven months. Remembers how enthralled he'd been going to every doctor's appointments, being sure he caught up on everything he'd missed. Remembers how gentle he was with her, even when she assured him it was fine.

She lets her hand fall to his chest, right over his heart, and leans in closer still. The thrum of his heart picks up and hers mimics it, as he leans in even closer until his nose is nudging hers.

Her eyes turn down and her lips curve upward into a sad smile, and then she remembers why all the heart ache and sadness is there. He's right in front of her, but she can't touch him. She's with Luke.

She pulls back suddenly, and clears her throat, looking at the coffee table.

He reaches out for one of her hands, and she stiffens to the touch that so easily set her on fire.

"I'm sorry," He says sincerely, and she knows he didn't mean to get caught up either, but she just can't look at him right now.

"I've got to get to bed, you can take the couch." She says quickly, wanting to get away as soon as possible.

"I should go-"

"Cooper wants you here. Stay." She says more forcefully, like she really means it. And she does, she can't be alone after all that. In spite of all _that_.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This took way longer than I meant for it to. And it's the shortest to date... and there's no flashback, _but_ the next two after this each have two, so... yeah.

* * *

"C-o-m-p-t-e-r. Compter." He hears Cooper recite from all the way upstairs, obviously going over his dictée words. French immersion, Andy convinced him years ago that she loved the experience, and it never hurt to be bilingual. He knew a little French, mostly just what he learned in school and trips to Quebec city, if the kid hated it, they could pull him out. But Cooper stuck to it.

"Très bien, suivant, comprendre." He hears Andy praise him, and give him his next word.

He scrubs a hand over his face, and opens his eyes to the ceiling. Did he really try to kiss her last night? He knows it'll keep him at an arms' length from now until that rings on her finger. But, she wanted him to. Didn't she? Her hand on his heart, smiling when he nudged her nose...

"Okay, are you sure you want to go to school today Coop? I can talk Mme. Bouchard about you taking your dictée tomorrow." He hears Andy say, the sound approaching the top of the staircase. Cooper says something in response, and she starts making her way downstairs. Sam sits up on the couch, and looks for his shirt that he'd stripped off carelessly the night before.

He manages to get it all the way on before she hits the landing, and moves to start folding the blankets on the couch.

"Hey," She says more quietly than necessary in her own house. "Look I'm really sorry about last night. That was- It. I'm sorry."

She struggles to find words that can tell him what a mistake she made.

He doesn't quite know what to say to that, to her, right now. The only reason he can think to be sorry would be on Luke's part. He didn't deserve to be cheated, and Andy deserve to wear that. And he wouldn't make her. Especially not under their roof.

"Heat of the moment, I get it." He whispers back, hearing Coop descend the stairs. He's clutching his schoolbag in one hand, and tosses it next to his shoes before rushing to greet his dad. "Hey buddy."

Sam smiled, immediately compartmentalizing the drama with Andy, and they all went to the kitchen to get him something to eat. Sam and Cooper take seats on the bar stools in front of the island, and Andy goes right for the fridge. She's busy getting ingredients out of the fridge, ready to make them omelettes, she doesn't notice Cooper goes to get his vocab list, and Sam is taking a crack at quizzing him.

Andy smiles when she hears how broken and Anglicized his accent has gotten, but she watches the two of them sit there, Cooper taking every opportunity to correct Sam.

When the front door swings open as she's serving up her own omelette, both the boys done, Andy's first instinct is ask Sam where he put his gun. But when she hears that it's just Luke, home early, she exhales and goes to greet him in the front hall.

"Hey, wow." Luke says when Andy wraps her arms around him in a welcoming hug. "Hey, I missed you too." He chuckled, rubbing her back up and down. Cooper makes a face at his plate, and Sam has to look away before he loses his edge. "Sam? What're you doing here, what's going on?"

"We had a bit of a scare last night, I just called Sam to search the house, calm our nerves. It was late so I figured he could stay, drive Cooper this morning." Andy explains, feeling like that was something out of line when it wasn't. The drinks maybe, the reminiscing definitely, the near kiss-

"Well I'm glad someone was here." Luke says in Sam's direction, but very absentmindedly. Andy's looking up at him, but when he goes to drop a short kiss on her lips, she turns her cheek, and Sam's eyes widen a little at the denial, but recovers quickly when he notices Cooper's plate is clean and he can get him to school.

"Ready kid?" He asks, Cooper moving off of his stool before the questions completely out of his mouth.

He watches his son say a quick hi to Luke, and duck outside to the truck. Andy gives him a knowing look, and moves silently to kitchen to get a start on cleaning up. Sam grabs the jacket off the back of the couch, ready to follow Cooper out, get to the bottom of whatever problems he's having, but as he gets to the walk way, he hears Luke tell Andy he's got more bags in the car, he'll be back in a sec.

"Swarek!"

Sam grits his teeth, before turning around to see Luke jogging up to the truck. He takes a couple of steps towards him, wondering about the urgency.

"Look, you don't have to come running over here every time I'm out of town." He says quietly, so Cooper stays oblivious in the truck.

Sam makes a bit of a face before trying to approach Luke's warning calmly.

"Andy was afraid someone was in the house. I wasn't going to just let her find out. When my family-"

"That's just it Sammy, she's not your family any more, and I think it's time you acknowledge that. Especially if you're taking off again."

Sam clenches his fist, and has to keep reminding himself that Cooper could be watching and eventually he releases the fists he made.

"They'll always be my family, and I'll always be here Luke. I'm not going anywhere, and I think it's time you acknowledge that." Sam says quietly, stepping away from Luke.

But Luke's not done just yet.

"Yeah," He laughs a little, taking Sam by surprise, "You're here until another job comes up. Then who's here assuring Andy that her son won't grow up without a dad. I'm pretty sure it's me, but you wouldn't know would you?"

Before he can even get mad, think about hitting him, and try to calm himself down, he gets a look over Luke's shoulder, to see Andy standing in the door, nervously looking their way. He won't do it for her sake, for his, for his sons. But if they weren't holding him back, Luke and the sidewalk would be well acquainted. He gives her a small wave before backing up more towards his truck.

"I just gave up the biggest offer I've had in years, _for_ my son. So don't lecture me about picking up the pieces Callaghan."

He pulls the truck door open, and slides in, slamming it behind him, needing some kind of relief. He lets out a deep breath, and rests his forehead against the steering wheel for a moment, before remembering he's got Cooper, staring at him.

"Sorry buddy, you're going to be late." Sam says dismissively, turning on the engine.

* * *

Cooper's still staring at Sam five minutes after they get on the road, and he finally gives in and looks back at his son. Cooper doesn't have to ask his dad what happened for Sam to know. But Sam's got questions of his own.

"Cooper, Luke's marrying your mom. And we just, we disagree about some things. But he does care about you guys. And he's not there to replace me, and you are allowed to like him. You know that right?" Sam asks, looking over at him once he's done speaking. Coop's sitting in a deep slouch, like, if he crashed the truck, he'd be under the airbag. He resists the urge to tell him to sit up straight in fear that he won't give him a straight answer.

"Doesn't mean I have to." he grumbles, in such an Andy fashion.

"But you should try, for your mothers sake at least."

They pull up in the elementary schools drop-off, and Cooper rips his seatbelt off, a bit furiously, and pushes his door open and slides out without a goodbye, or a 'love you'. Sam rolls down the passenger side window, leans over, and nice and loud,

"I LOVE YOU COOPER."

He fights a smile when Cooper turns around with an un-amused scowl, just like Andy's. His friends all laugh at him as he approaches.

* * *

"What was that about?" Andy demanded, as Luke made his way back into the house.

Luke just puffs out a breath, and walks right by her to the kitchen.

"Luke!" She calls, wanting it all out now.

He's got his head in the fridge, looking for last night's leftovers, or yogurt, or something. Andy doesn't care, she just wants to know what went on just now, because she could see Sam's face, his fists, and he held back. That was not nothing.

"You know, you have that gun for a reason. I hate the thing, but you insisted." He says, shaking his head at her. "And you still call him?"

"Luke, I wasn't sure if there was someone in the house, that gun is a last resort. If I knew there was someone, I would've grabbed the gun, called the police, and waited in a closet." She says, taking the defence, bracing herself for anything Luke's got for her. "But I wasn't sure, so instead of scaring the shit out of Cooper, I called Sam. Sorry for giving a shit about safety."

Luke looks down into the sink, and reaches in a and pulls out Sam's glass from last night, causing Andy's eyes to close, in preparation for the fight ahead.

"And this is your glass of scotch?"

"It was just one drink, we were both a little shaken up."

"And then he stayed over?"

"Cooper asked him to. Luke I'm not on the stand, you cannot just come in here and question-"

"Question whether or not I have to be worried? Andy, can't you see he's trying to come between us?" He sounds so desperate, but Andy can't believe that he's putting this on her.

She studies his face, and takes a couple of steps back, shaking her head angrily at him.

"If he's not here for you, why did he just turn down that big job? Huh? Coop would forgive him for leaving, but he knows that he can't leave if you're getting married."

Andy stops dead in her tracks, and her mouth hangs open. She'd had no idea he'd already said no, but her heartbeat picks up, and immediately she knows there is some truth to what Luke is saying. But still, she's not going to give Luke a reason to worry, she's not going to tell him about the near kiss the way she'd planned to before. The point is they hadn't. The point is regardless of Sam's intentions, she is engaged, and getting married. It's what she wants...

Isn't it?

"He's here for his son Luke. If you see something else, it's in your head." She says, taking a few steps toward him, stopping only when they're toe to toe. "Please don't read into this."

Before he could say a word, she put her arms around his waist in a comforting hug, more for her than him. It's what she wants...

Isn't it?


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: In this chapter, you'll be disappointed with lack of Cooper inclusion, but I promise you, next chapter is very Cooper involved.

* * *

Sam had been sitting at The Penny for an hour with Oliver before he said anything about the current situation. But that was just Sam's process. Oliver knew he wanted to talk, and talk they would, but it had to be on Sam's time, when he was ready. Any pushing or prodding and he'd clam up like a shell. So he waited it out. Talked about trivial things like hockey, or work, or their kids. Oliver managed to get himself three girls in five years, so he had his hands full with them. His youngest is a year younger than Cooper. Andy always thought she and Zoe would set 'em up eventually...

"I did something stupid, brother." Sam says at last, after their conversation about getting new squad cars at work ran its course.

"What's that?"

Sam sighed, looked down at the bottle in his hands, and passed it back and forth on the bar top before answering and putting the bottle to his lips.

"I almost kissed Andy a couple of nights ago."

* * *

Traci has been doing a good job at keeping Andy's wine glass full on this girls night, as she recounts all the events with Sam over the last couple of weeks. Gail keeps assuring her that it's fine, the kids fine, Luke will get over everything. (Kids didn't really mellow Gail out too much. Course, she had twins. There wasn't a ton of post-baby bliss for her and Nick). Cooper was having a sleep over tonight at Gail's with Leo, the twins, and Nick, so the ladies were free for the night.

Traci kept telling her to be honest with Luke, lay it all out there, till him about her doubts. But Andy knows Luke. She knows he'll blow their entire relationship if he thinks she'll go back on her promise. They had a home together now, she couldn't just take a break because Sam was stirring up old feelings... could she? No, no, her son finally had a stable life. They had a stable life.

"Well, I'll go get those bridal magazines," Traci says, pushing herself up off her couch, running into her bedroom.

Gail keeps an eyebrow raised at Andy the entire time Traci is gone, but Andy keeps her eyes trained on her wine, drinking it often.

Traci was the biggest enthusiast on planning and Gail was the first to wed, which, who would've guessed? But it went like so; Gail, Andy, and then finally Traci. After keeping Jerry on a string for four years, she gave in. Never believed in monogamy, and she's the happiest of them all. She was there for every step of Gail's wedding, even through the thickest of bride-zilla moments, and her nearly decapitating Elaine.

All night with the Sam stuff though, Gail's been trying to keep Andy in check. Reminding her of her fiancée, as though she'd forgotten. Gail was so up and down with how she felt about Sam that Andy never bothered keeping track. It's almost like she couldn't decide if she liked Luke or Sam least, so she pitted them against one another when it suited her best.

But despite Gail's frankness, and harsh attitude towards the men in her life, the girls have been really helpful as bridesmaids for **this** wedding. Probably because she didn't even tell them last time...

* * *

_They agreed on a small wedding. Family and friends only, but when early one morning after a really bad shift, Sam wanted to whisk her away to city hall, make it official as soon as possible, she went with it. She didn't have a wedding dress, but they stopped and bought her something, summery, and her. He wore slacks and an open dress shirt, no jacket, no tie. It was them. They stopped and picked up Jerry and her dad to witness, and they were ready. _

_She knew the case shook him up. She could tell from the way he asked her to just go with him, do it this morning, be **his** forever. When she made him tell her, her heart absolutely broke._

_"We found a body today, and it belonged to a man who was engaged to a woman getting out of the sex trade. She had two kids. Since they weren't married, all his belongings, his apartment, money, it goes to his mother, and she won't give them a dime. And now that woman's stuck doing whatever she can to feed her kids." He kissed the back of her hand as they sat next to each other on their couch, shoulder to shoulder. "If I left you here with nothing, I'd wouldn't forgive myself."_

_She was going to protest, but when he put his hand up to stop her, she obliged._

_"I know that that doesn't matter to you, that you'd be okay, and I don't even have much for you, but I want to know that you're going to be okay." _

_She couldn't argue with that. And she definitely could've told Traci and Gail, but they decided that they'd just throw a party after, in a week, something big. She just wanted to marry him as soon as she could. They were married in front of a judge and Tommy gave her away traditionally, cried, told Sam not to hurt his little girl, and 'welcome to the family son'. They didn't say their own vows, but that was okay, they were more of private people that way, especially Sam. And by noon, she was Andy Swarek, and she was his, and he was hers_

_The post-wedding party wound up being more of a second wedding. Oliver "married" them, Traci got to be a maid of honour, while Gail was her matron of honour, and Jerry was the best man... again. They had a ceremonious cake cutting. Andy shoved it in his face after he fed her delicately, trying not to ruin her lipstick. He retaliated, later, with the leftovers... in bed. _

_That night Sam confessed that their mock wedding would've been worth the wait, but he didn't regret getting her as soon as he could. _

* * *

Looking back now maybe she was too young at twenty five to get married, and they did it wrong, but she saw their whole marriage that way most of the time. Maybe all they did right was Cooper. But if that was the case, why did she want to go back so badly? Why did she want to see if it'd be different now?

"So what kind of dress are you thinking of?" Traci asks excitedly, pulling her out of her thoughts, and throwing a magazine at her face.

* * *

"What're you doing brother? Coming back full force into her life?" Oliver asks once he's done updating his friend on the situation. "Be there for Cooper, fine. Spend a little time together with him, that's okay too. But, where Coopers not involved, don't involve yourself Sammy. You'll only push her away."

"Well I know that now don't I?" Sam says with a little fire. "I just, I just don't want this to fall through the cracks again Oliver. I know I fucked up. I know that."

Oliver pat his buddy on the shoulder once he began to clam back up and stare coldly at his beer bottle.

"I get it Sammy, I do. And you made some mistakes, the problem here is that you let her slip away from you. You've had six years to fix this. And you assumed it would fix itself." Oliver advises. Reason Jerry wasn't here tonight was that he didn't have the battle scars in his marriage that Oliver did. He and Zoe never had it easy, and they'd come close to separation themselves.

Jerry and Lidia didn't work out because they got married in college because the sex was great, but he and Traci were, they were a freak breed of couple. They had a lot of bumps in the road in the beginning, and most of it had to do with Leo's father, but Traci kept him waiting so long that they'd made sure they were solid. Maybe they learned from their friends mistakes...

"You two had a romance for the big screen brother, there's no denying that. Fire that burned wild." He waved a hand out in front of them, probably supposed to be a fire-y shape, but Oliver's a couple more drinks in than Sam. "But you let it burn down everything in its path till there was nothing left, and you thought that it would just keep you two going. That's why you gave her the separation." Oliver says sagely, always the voice of reason.

"I didn't think she'd forget so easily how good we were together." Sam says, hopelessness infecting his voice.

"You missed a lot Sammy, and I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I know you are harder on yourself than anyone else but... but she covered a lot of it up when you were back. She failed to tell you what she wanted, and you failed to see what she needed."

Sam nodded at his friends words, and considered that maybe she'd made as many mistakes as he did. They both let it fail. She was tired of being alone, and his solution was take some time apart. He stayed away from UC while they were separated, oddly enough, and maybe that's why she'd seemed so much better. Cause maybe they weren't together, but she wasn't worried about him out there. He knew he made the wrong move when he refused counseling, but he was hardly the type to let some stranger come into their lives and judge them. It was his pride that got in the way of fixing things. Like Oliver said, he thought that what they had was strong enough. He thought it would fix itself.

* * *

The girls were done sorting through the dresses, and they'd consumed too much wine to stay on task. They mostly just critiqued the models and made up fake back stories until they got sick of flipping through the pages.

"Nick and I are looking at houses." Gail announces, not too cheery about it. "The boys are too old to be sharing a room. They're getting to be that age..." She then makes a gesture involving forming a lose fist and pumping her wrist and well... they get the message.

"And Lacy has more toys than we know what to do with." She groans. After having two boys at once, and finding out she was going to have a precious girl, they all went a little over board. They all had boys up until now, and... Lacy just got very spoiled.

"That's great, what neighbourhood are you thinking about?" Traci asks almost immediately.

Gail looks over at Andy with a bit of a guilty face.

"We were actually looking in your old area. And we noticed that your and Sam's old place... it's for sale Andy." Gail admits. "We're not looking at it, we want something cheaper, but I thought maybe you'd want to know."

And that hits Andy a little harder than she'd like. That house, there was a love/hate relationship that came with it, but it was their first real home together. I mean, they stayed in Sam's rented apartment for a few months after they got married, but when a pipe burst in the building, everything got a little turned upside down. They just kind of stayed that way.

* * *

_Staying at her dads was supposed to be a temporary situation until they found something else, but Sam started talking about buying a home, their own place, their dream home. Before she knew it, he was working overtime like crazy, trying to save up. As soon as they started talking to realtors, it became obvious that with Andy's loans on their shoulders, they wouldn't be the sellers first choice._

_"Andy, I do this, we pay off your debt, and we scrape together the last bit of the down payment for any home in that neighbourhood." He said, countless times._

_Tommy was sitting with them at the dinner table, backing him up, telling her that with him gone, making more money, and her not having to feed another mouth he wouldn't have to be gone too long. Four or five months. She pulled a couple extra shifts here and there too, and they'd get their home._

_Eventually he wore her down, and for the first time in a year and a half, he was back under. And for the first time since she was a kid, she'd wished she made him promise her he'd come home, at any cost. She wished she'd told him it didn't matter if they had the dream house or just any old house. But she let him go without saying any of those things._

_Every phone call she got in those five months panicked her. Terrified that it'd be a hospital or his Sergeant. Every time someone knocked on her father's front door, she was afraid it's be a uniform ready to give her a notification._

_But the day he came home, she'd never forget. Just walked right into the house, and grabbed her. Kissed her like he'd never kissed her before. _

_If they weren't at Tommy's she's convinced they would've done it on every surface in every room for the next two weeks straight. But eventually they came out of that 'Thank god you're not dead' bliss, and they had to get a move on with their lives. She basically forgot how hard those months were without him, just basked in thankfulness that he was home safe now._

_Less than two months later he took her to the open house for the four bedroom house in the beaches. It had a front yard, a tire swing on an old oak tree. It had bricks and above it olive green wood paneling, the windows had white shutters. If she had to dream up the home she was destined to live in, it was this one. They didn't hesitate to put an offer on it, and they were so happy when they got it. _

_She still had the photo of them with the sold sign, somewhere. She was on his back, arms wrapped tight around his neck, grinning from ear to ear, and he did the same. _

_A month later they were moving in. _

_Jerry, Oliver and Nick all came to do the heavy lifting, moving the furniture, and the ladies dropped by for the actual unpacking and organizing. A week later, they all brought the kids, and had house warming barbecue. _

_The day they moved in was the day she found out she was pregnant._

* * *

"Wow." Andy breathed, letting the memories of their home hit her all at once. "Can't believe they're selling already, it's a great house."

Traci and Gail knew that that was about all the reaction they were going to get out of her, and she was relieved when they simply dropped it. But as she drained what was left in her glass, deciding that she was off for the night, she wondered if they'd recognize her if she stopped by and took a look around.

* * *

Traci was the first of them asleep, as usual, and Andy and Gail stayed up a little longer on the topics of their kids, and mundane things like sports and carpool... but somehow it got back to the other night, with Sam, and Gail just couldn't seem to help herself.

"Andy, you've got to leave Sam in the past. You know he always leaves you broken."

"Gail that's enough. I'm tired of everyone being on his back about that. He was trying to provide for us okay? That's all. He wanted to give us everything he never had. He did what he thought he needed to do to keep us happy!"

Gail just shook her head at her.

"How is it that when someone defends what he did, you easily back up your choice to divorce with 'he left, he wasn't there for me' but when I take that stance, you're ready to defend what he did, and that he did it out of love?"

"You do this with Luke and Sam all the time Gail, you put them up against each other and whichever one you hate less that day gets your vote. You don't know about my past being married to Sam. How hard it was having him leave-"

"No, Andy, shut up. I know how selfless it is to watch your husband go risk his life to give you one. Nick did three tours, remember? But I knew that he was going out there to fight for something bigger than us, and when he was done, he'd be mine. Sam did the same thing. He was taking care of these streets, so his son could be a little safer, you could be safer. I know I give him a lot of shit, but that's because he made bad choices, not because he left Andy. So don't tell me I don't get it. Because I do. Nick still has nightmares, ten years later." Gail says, shaking her head in what seemed like exhaustion.

Andy was up and over to her in a heartbeat, and realized that maybe they were too tired to be talking about things that were so much more than black and white. She put an arm around her friend and pulled her tight and let her collect herself before continuing.

Andy never really looked at Gail as the wife of a soldier. Andy never really thought to confide in Gail all of her fears about Sam, because Nick finished his touring a long time ago, before the kids were born. But holding Gail, Gail who was talking about Nick waking up sweaty and screaming, she couldn't help but wonder how much she'd kept inside. How much they'd struggled. How she stopped him from going back.

"I know he loves us, but he's so loyal, I can't help but wonder if he wants to go back..."

Andy's never heard anyone else speak her exact thoughts aloud before. She never thought it'd be Gail.

* * *

A/N 2: I hope I was able to make you all see why Sam returned to undercover. And how in real life that would take a bigger toll. Hope both of their perspectives were brought out.

Also, I know this chapter had kind of a different structure to it, but things'll be back to normal in ch 8 don't worry.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, babe, we need to get that memory foam for the guest bedroom before the wedding. My mom's back-"

"I know, it's in the garage Luke." Andy says, cutting up cheese and tomatoes for everyone's sandwiches. She goes to the fridge to retrieve the lunch meat, and continues puttering alone. Luke braces his hands on one of the barstools there, and watches her for a minute. "What?"

"I was thinking we should talk about what we're going to do with the guest bedroom after the wedding." He says vaguely, confusing Andy.

Her eyebrows meet in the middle of her face, and he smiles a little.

"Maybe turning it into a nursery."

* * *

_She didn't want to tell Sam right away, they were really busy with setting up the house. And she wanted a creative way of doing it. They'd been using one of the guest bedrooms to stow all the boxes they'd yet to unpack, and spent a lot of hours arguing over what should go where. A lot of their stuff was damaged in the flood, furniture mostly, but they had enough left over from the down payment to replace most of it. _

_She was sitting in the kitchen, crunching numbers for the stuff they'd need for a nursery, and car seats, a stroller when Sam came in from his run._

_"Hey," He said, dropping a quick kiss on her lips, before heading to the sink. She scrambled her papers around a little, throwing the news paper on top of it._

_"Hey." She smiled back, wondering if maybe now was the time to let it drop. But no, she'd kept it to herself for a reason, she just needs to know how to get him out of the house for awhile. She'd email Oliver tonight._

_"Whatcha been doing all day?" He asks, knowing she's been lucky enough to be off today, unlike him, who wound up working a little overtime after his night shift. He felt bad because the minute he'd bother to get out of bed, he took off for a run. _

_"Bills, really fun stuff." She smiled, making her way over to him. "But now that you're here..."_

_She trailed a single finger nail down from his chest to his stomach to his abs... and he smiled brightly at her._

_"You know, I've already done my cardio for the day." He murmurs, letting her continue, letting her lead the way._

_"No such thing as too much, or did you buy into this whole 'no sex once you're married thing'." She whispers in his ear, before biting right onto it. He drops his glass back into the sink to get a hold on her. Once he had her pressed up against him from head to toe, she pulls away a little._

_"Why don't you go draw a bath, I'll wash your back, and then I'll give a massage, and a little more." She says, drawing back slowly, with his favorite look in her eyes. He nodded, and turned on his heel, ran up the stairs._

_She walked over to their home phone and dialed the Shaw residence._

_"Oliver, I need you to occupy Sam for a few hours tomorrow." She said into the mouth piece. "I don't know, what do you guys do when you hangout during the day?" She sighed when Oliver starting listing off things like chopping down trees, bench pressing lions and throwing tree trunks. "I just wanna surprise him, that's all you need to know. Bring Jerry too, that man cannot keep a secret."_

_She was off the phone ten minutes later, and went in search of her tired husband._

* * *

"Nursery?" She asks, trying to really process the word.

"You know, where the baby sleeps..." He was smiling at her a little questioningly.

She looks at him with the most doe-eyed, helpless expression he's ever seen from her. And she looks like a deer caught in headlights quite frankly.

"I... I. I..." She stutters through her breaths.

She never ever considered having another kid, not after the divorce. She told herself she wouldn't have another baby with Sam until they had more savings, and he had no excuses for going under. A girl with Sam's dimples, that was what she considered.

"Wow, Andy, I don't mean right away, just, eventually." He says, rounding the island to her, going to hold both of her hands in his. "I want us to expand our family."

"I'm already thirty four Luke, I might not be able to-"

"That's nothing Andy. We can do fertility tests if we're having trouble." He says, keeping the smile on his face, and Andy starts to realizes that she has to actually consider this as something that could end their relationship.

* * *

_She may not have needed Oliver to take him and Jerry out for hours, she, Traci, and Gail decide doing the entire room without Sam's input was a bit much. But they did go and buy a few onsies, pacifiers, stuffed animals, and glass bottles to make up a "Daddy Survival Kit". _

_They picked up some paint chips, and Andy ripped out some options of cribs they could afford from a catalogue, and she talked to Traci about using Leo's old stroller. She was ready for him to come home, but she just realized they'd never talked about beyond, 'someday I want kids'. Was today okay? Was it too early? Would he leave?_

_Of course he wouldn't, Sam's not that guy, but what if he wasn't happy. What if he just pretended, and then twelve years from now..._

_"Andy? I'm home." He called from the front door, letting it fall shut behind him. She realized she'd been worried, and pacing, and not watching the driveway from the window._

_"I'm upstairs." She called. Part of the plan. This would be the last room he looked in. She had the basket in her hands, and she was trying to force the nervous look off of her face while he searched the top floor, calling for her._

_When he hit the doorway, he didn't notice her offering right away and he had this puzzled look on his face as he entered to kiss her hello, but when he let his eyes fall to the gift basket, he stopped where he was. She walked towards him, handing it over for him to examine, to process._

_He let in a shaky breath, and she immediately went closed-mouthed and wide-eyed. He looked back to her with a big smile, and teary eyes, though she knew they'd never cross the threshold._

_"Are you..."_

_"I am."_

_He put the basket down next to him, never taking his eyes off of Andy. And she knows now that he's happy, he's trying to keep his smile from spreading, because if his eyes crinkle anymore, they might force a tear._

_"I love you." He said, taking her in his arms so gently, and lovingly, like he's afraid she might break. She wants to tell him she's pregnant not crippled, but it's just too sweet of a moment to interrupt. _

* * *

Luke had to leave for a game of golf with an associate before they could finish the conversation, and Cooper had to get to hockey. Sam was working today but said he could pick him up.

"Coop, baby, it's time to go!" Andy yelled up the stairs, still frantic about her conversation with Luke. Thank god he was old enough to be responsible for all of his gear, or today he might not have a helmet, she's so scrambled.

When she sees him on the stairs, she hands him his sandwich.

"Eat on the way, we're late."

They're never late, which is something Cooper realizes has been happening a lot more often lately. He doesn't mention the car rules, which banned him from doing that after the grape juice incident of '09. He just grabbed his bag from the back door, and dragged it around the house to her car.

The whole ride, she looks like she's solely focused on the road, and when he tries to play some music she tells him not to, too much of a distraction. This coming from the woman who could do her makeup while driving 80 kilometers on the freeway.

"Mom, are you and Luke going to have another kid?" He'd be lying if he said he hadn't heard them. He was only in the TV room. It doesn't really phase her, in fact she looks kind of relieved, like she has someone to discuss it with finally. But your 8 year-old son isn't exactly the person to be consulting on your marital... almost marital issues.

"I don't know buddy. How would you feel about that?" She asks, taking his concerns first.

"I don't know, guess I never really thought about it." He seems like he could care less, but... but he does care. It's most kids' dream to have brothers and sisters, but half brothers and sisters, that's different. He wanted a brother that he and dad could teach to play hockey. Luke doesn't know enough about hockey for that. He comes to Coops' games, and he knows quite a bit, but not as much as his dad.

"Me neither. I just don't know right now. But hey, it'll be a long time before we have to worry about it. Okay? We're not even married yet." She reminds herself. While she's trying to say she's got time, it sounds to Cooper like she's reminding herself that there's still time to back out.

* * *

_Ever since the day they went out and bought the crib and Sam got a look at the prices of everything else they'd need, he kind of went off the wall. They had money put aside, they still had a few months before the baby, but in his mind they needed everything now. She had seven months until labour, but he was convinced that they needed it all, and they needed it all now._

_Many fights had ensued. While she was the one who took care of their finances (usually) he still managed to convince himself that they needed more. He'd already resorted to throwing the costs of college back in her face. Apparently they had to start thinking about it this very second._

_"Sam, this is insane, we're fine. We're going to be okay. At the very worst, things will be tight, but it's manageable." She insisted for the dozenth time._

_"Day care is very expensive Andy." He said, not really listening to her._

_"There's day care at the hospital, part of my benefits ensure I get a good deal." She said, trying to keep things calm. Last thing she needs is added stress on the baby. "Sam, we'll manage."_

_"You can't even work!" He said, distractedly, a bit frustrated._

_She smiled sadly at how flustered he was. While it was cute, it worried her._

_"Sam, I work in a hospital, I can work up until a week before my due date if I like. As long as there are no complications. They won't have me doing anything strenuous." She insisted, having already spoken to some of her colleagues about that._

_He finally stops being distracted, and pulls up a chair and sits across from her. He puts out his hand for one of hers, and she places it in his._

_"What if something happens? To the house, or to the truck. We need to have a bit of wiggle room Andy. Tight makes me uncomfortable. What if something like the apartment happens again? A flood, a tornado?"_

_"Sam it wasn't a flood, a pipe burst-"_

_"Andy!" He said loudly, trying to get her to focus on him, not facts. "It's a short one. Couple of months, behind the scenes, I wouldn't even be the primary cover. I'd be home before the baby starts kicking."_

* * *

"Bye mom!" Cooper called, cutting off her thoughts, already retrieving his gear from the back, closing the hatchback.

"Bye! Dads picking you up okay? You guys can have dinner out if you want." She shouted as he ran off, not entirely sure if he was listening.

* * *

She didn't go home right away like she told herself she would once she pulled out of the arena parking lot. No, she did exactly what she told herself not to do when Gail told her the news. Pulling up on her old block, she noticed that all the same cars were parked in the driveways. Mrs. Eddison was out raking leaves, and her husband was tinkering around under their old jalopy. They didn't actually take out except on Sundays. They took Cooper once...

She stands outside the house for a long time, watching people come out mostly, before they'd been in for very long, most of them not looking too happy. She decides that if she doesn't go in, she'll spend the rest of her life wondering.

She doesn't even get into the house before the onslaught of emotions are cycling through her system. The afternoon light pouring in from the back windows, lights all the dust in the empty house, and it looks the same way it did as they day they bought it. With the exceptions she knows of. The things they had to cover up before they tried to sell it.

Where they had to repaint because Cooper decided paper was too mainstream for his crayon art. The paint had change colour because Sam didn't re-seal the lid properly. He had been pretty pissed. That was in the upstairs hallway, close to Cooper's bedroom.

The dent in the paneling in the backyard from when Sam and Jerry were tossing the baseball around with Leo. It wasn't deep enough to do any real damage, and wasn't worth the cosmetic fix.

"Andy?" A voice calls from the kitchen, causing Andy to pull her hand from the windowsill abruptly.

She looked up to see Olivia, the woman they'd sold it too. She and her husband were looking for a home to start their family in, and Sam and Andy wished them better luck than they had.

"Hi." She replies, kind of embarrassed. She told herself she'd be quick, in and out.

"What're you doing here?" She smiles, going in for a hug.

"Heard you were selling, thought I'd just pop in."

Olivia gave her this odd knowing smile, like maybe she almost expected it.

"Yeah, this has been a great place, but Tyler got a job offer in Halifax, so, it's time to go." She has enough sense to be sad about it, and offers Andy a small smile.

"Well you won't have any trouble selling. It's a great place. Still the best on the block." Andy says with pride, looking around the room.

"You're biased, but I know what you mean. We've actually already received an offer we're taking up."

Andy lost her smile nearly immediately. And of course they did. This is an open house, people give you a piece of paper with an offer, and you decide if they're worthy. God knows Andy didn't just say yes to the highest bidder.

"That's great. That's really great Olivia. If you don't mind, could I look around for a bit?" She asks, trying to hold it together for as long as she can. As soon as Olivia nods, she's walking up the stairs towards the master bedroom, and locks the door. She can't hold it in any longer.

* * *

_Three months he was gone. Three months, the worse months of the pregnancy, he'd missed. She held her own hair during her morning sickness. Traci and Gail came with her to her appointments. They stayed overnight a few times when she was missing Sam too much. They were even on the other end of the phone when she had a craving and was too tired to drive herself. She had great friends, but she wished it was Sam. He wish he was there to go through this with her. _

_When he came home this time, it was a little different. It was the middle of the night, possibly early morning, and she thought she'd been having one of those pregnancy dreams. He climbed in next to her, rubbed a hand over her stomach, and bent down to kiss it, and then up to kiss her._

_"I'm home." He whispered, rousing her quietly, slowly. When she finally registered that he was really here, she grabbed him immediately, and they wasted no time. _

_But in the morning, he was so removed. He wouldn't talk about his job out there, since it wasn't over. That was his excuse. Couldn't let any info slip until the takedown, but he was rattled. Something had shaken him up. He's not putting her to the side or anything, he's just not being... open? She can barely put her finger on what it is, she just knows he's different than he was three months ago._

* * *

Sam's standing right outside the locker room for Cooper by the time his practice ends. Caught the tail end of the practice, and watched Cooper miss shot after shot during scrimmage.

"Hey kid. Ready."

"Yup," He smacks, just like Andy. "Mom said we could go out for dinner."

He puts an arm around his son, then ruffles a hand through his wavy locks.

"Is this one of those things where you use the whole divorced thing to pit us against each other." He smiles, looking down at Cooper.

Cooper smiles, and nudges Sam in the ribs, before wriggling out of his grasp, and jogging towards the truck.

"First one there gets to pick!" He shouts over his shoulder to his dad, leaving him in the dust.

* * *

It's late again by the time they get back to Andy and Luke's place. Cooper looking like he's going to doze off at any second. This time he manages to get himself to bed, and when Sam's ready to turn and go, Andy drags him outside to the porch again, closing the door behind her this time.

And it's only now that he notices her nose is pink, and her cheeks look like they've been blotchy. It occurs to him that Luke had had an angry look on his face too when he got here, and wonders maybe if they'd been fighting.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sam asks, genuinely concerned. She almost never let him see her cry when they fought, and they had some fights that could go in the books.

This causes her lip to tremble and her eyes to pool a little, but she's putting up a fight to keep her dry streak, and wipes furiously till all evidence is gone. She sniffles, and shakes her head, trying to get a laugh out.

"It's just... stuff. I'm fine." She attempts a smile.

"No it's not, what's going on." He means business, and she knows that. He's not going to give up until she tells him, it's just his nature. All honesty, she wants to tell him. Wants to tell him that they talked when she got home from dropping Cooper, when he got home from golf. That he'd made her feel so guilty about wanting to have one child.

Said it was selfish. Why wasn't she considering that, despite how much he does love Cooper, he wants his own kids. That had pissed her off for awhile, until she wondered that if the roles were reversed, would she be able to swallow that news the same way. Until he brought up how his mother was right about her. To say they were hanging by a thread would be generous.

"Luke wants to have more kids."

"You don't?"

"I don't think so. I mean, Coop's almost nine, and I don't want him to feel like I'm trying to do my life over again." She says, voice breaking a little. She shouldn't be opening up to Sam about this. She should call Traci, grab a couple of bottles of wine. Talk it out with someone with a similar situation.

"Then don't." He says simply, watching her internal debate tear away at her spirit.

"It's not that simple, Luke-"

"Is the one who signed up for a package deal. He's the one who came into your family Andy. Don't let him pressure you." He says, making the reach to rub up and down her arm, just, not romantically, he wasn't going to spook her again. He just wants to be there for her, however she needs it.

She nods, and leans forward, so he moves his hand to her back.

"It's not that I never thought of having more kids." She says quietly, suddenly paranoid that Luke's been listening. As suddenly as she feels that, she suddenly doesn't care. "Before, you know. I thought about a girl..."

He nods, knowing that having this conversation is only going to kill him, but he also needs to know where this thought takes her. Before she can keep going though, they hear Cooper call for her. Probably a question, or just wants to say goodnight. But it does she trick, even thought the seeds already planted in Sam's mind. A little girl...

"You know, our house was for sale again. They've already sold it." She says, absentmindedly as she raises herself from the porch swing. "Goodnight Sam."

She disappears into the house before he can say another word.

Yeah, he knows.


	9. Chapter 9

"Dad, where are we going?" Cooper asks Sam, emphasis on the 'are', after he picked him up from school the next Friday.

Since that Saturday, on the front porch, he's hardly spoken two words to Andy. All he knows, is that he's been getting Cooper more this week than he's used to, and he guesses that things aren't so peachy with Luke.

"Just some place." He says vaguely, eyes exclusively on the road before him.

The leaves had finally been cleared off all of the trees and streets, and washed down the storm drains. The Autumn is almost over, and he starts to feel like everything in their lives is going down with the warmth of the season. But he's just thankful that he's got Cooper to keep him distracted.

"Dad, if we're going to Grandpa's-"

"Why would we be going to grandpas?" Sam cuts him off, finally looking back to Cooper.

The kid just shrugs his shoulders and looks out his window. Coop used to be a talkative kid. Andy's allergy to silence ran through his veins, but lately he'd been holding up Sam's stoic front, and he was beginning to see how hard that must've been for Andy.

"Cooper Thomas." Sam says a little more sternly, silently commanding his son to look at him. When Cooper turns with his scowl, Sam sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. "Why would we be going to Grandpa's?"

"Mom dropped me off at Grandpas a two nights ago. She and Luke are fighting, again." He says, giving his dad his most serious tone. Sam nods, and turns his attention to the road. Lets that sink in and thinks about how it's probably about the whole baby ordeal. Probably not just fighting... probably baby making.

He snaps out of his daze enough to ruffle a hand through Coopers hair, causing his son to grumble, and smooth his hands over it. Sam cracks a genuine smile. He's his father's son.

"There's some place I wanna show you buddy." Sam says, pulling up to the curb, slowly coming to a stop in front of a house.

He watches Cooper study it for a minute, and finally he jumps out of his door, tapping the hood so Cooper would do the same. He keeps a watchful eye over his shoulder at his son, who stops immediately when he saw the tire swing in the front yard.

"Dad, where are we?" He asks suspiciously, like maybe he's remembering.

"This is where we used to live." He says, stopping, and putting his hands in the front pockets of his jacket. Cooper takes a couple of tentative steps toward the tire, before running his fingers along the tread. "This is where you spent the first three years of your life."

Cooper nods absentmindedly, and looks around the lawn.

"I remember cloud watching with mom..." He mutters, letting Sam hear, just barely. "Is there a tree house in the backyard?"

Sam nods, surprised that he even remembers.

"Mom used to chase me around, and play grounders."

And then, then Sam starts to realize that most of his sons early memories are solely of Andy. All the repetition and traditions they had, drilled into him. But he probably doesn't remember the summer Sam and Oliver built the tree house. Cooper was two and Andy set him up on the back deck with a plastic hammer and some plastic boards to pretend he was just like Daddy.

Sam remembers Cooper idolized, Cooper doesn't.

"That's right. Wanna go inside?" Sam asks, trying to move this along, clear away the guilty thoughts.

"Dad, we can't just walk around someone's house. You should know that, you're a cop." He laughs, like Sam's the dumbest person on the planet.

"Actually, buddy, I bought this house." He reveals, pulling the keys out of his jeans pocket. Cooper's eyes go wide with excitement. Cooper basically flings himself at Sam's waist, and wraps his arms around him tight. He takes a step back to absorb the hit, and rubbed a hand up and down Coopers back. "Excited?"

"Do I get a bigger room?" He asks, tipping his chin up against Sam's stomach to look up at his dad.

Sam nods, ruffling Coopers hair _again_, only this time Cooper just grins, and hugs Sam tighter.

"Let's go in, you can pick what room you want." He says, pulling Cooper away, but tucking him under his arm.

* * *

Andy was sitting on the ottoman, opposite Luke on the couch. They'd been at it since Sam pulled up to get Cooper, and finally they'd both just given up on the yelling. It started with the baby, and wound up in deeper territory. His moms attacks, her inability to give herself to him fully, their differences.

"This... this isn't going to work is it?" Andy asks, truly defeated at this point. He looks at her with big sad blue eyes, and shakes his head.

"I want it to. I do love you. But, we're at different places." He says, biting something back. "We're just forcing it now."

Andy let's a tear fall, but it's nothing she didn't know already. It's just, three years together. A home together. The plans, her dress, all of it was for nothing.

"What do we do about the house?" Is the first thing out of her mouth. She wants to stop talking about the end, she doesn't want good bye sex, she just wants this to be the final goodbye.

"Sell it? Or you and Coop can stay, I'll stay at my brothers for awhile while I look for an apartment-"

"Selling it. We should sell. I wouldn't feel right about staying." She mumbles, cutting him off. They spent a lot of time and money they poured into this place, and still never felt like her home.

They settled on him staying with his brother until they talked to a realtor and he packed a bag. And that was that.

* * *

"Dad?" Coop says from inside his new room where they were lying on the floor, their heads next to one another.

"Yeah Coop?" Sam asked, looking around the room that used to be Cooper's room, and would be again. Of the three other bedrooms , he chose the one he was brought home to. His nursery, then the race car bed, this room drew him in. The sunlight was great, it was closest to the master, but he didn't know all that. It was the first room he ran to, it was his first instinct, and he didn't even know why.

"If you get married some day, are you going to have another kid?" He asks, attempting casual. Sam chuckles and tilts his head to the side to look at Cooper.

"No, I don't think I would." He decides. Personally, the thought of even trying to commit to marriage again made Sam nauseous, kids were definitely the last thing on his mind. But maybe a little girl with his dimples, big warm brown eyes...

"Why?" He questions, giving Sam the full interrogation.

Sam chuckles again, and waits until Coop drops his head to face him, and Sam puts his forehead right on Coopers.

"You're too much of a handful already squirt." He says, real serious. Cooper grins sarcastically at his dad, and pulls his head back just enough to head butt him lightly, before he scrambles up to his feet and runs out of the room, and down the stairs.

Sam takes one last look around the room before chasing him down.

* * *

_"SAM!" Andy yelled once he got in the door from work one night. He immediately began long strides up the stairs, knowing her due date was in sight. "Saaaaaaaaaam!"_

_Her cry turned to a distressed moan, and he knew it was time. He threw open the door to their bedroom but couldn't see her, and passed through to the bathroom. He found her sitting on the edge of the tub, legs spread wide to keep the pain from her contractions tolerable._

_"Hey, hey, I'm here sweetheart." He said, getting on his knees in front of her, and searched for eye contact as she cringed through another contraction. "Why didn't you call me?"_

_"I had time." She said, "They were far apart, and then they WEREN'T." She cried as the contraction hit its end. "We still have time to get to the hospital, let's go!" _

_Sam stood up, and tried to help her onto her feet, grabbing the go bag on the way out the door._

_They got to the hospital in record time, and he dropped her with a nurse at the maternity entrance, wheel chair waiting. He tried to stay calm until he had the truck parked, but he couldn't help the shaking hands. He knew he had to be strong and brave for her. __**She**__ was the one who'd be pushing a human being out of her body, all he had to do was provide for him, nurture him, raise him for the next eighteen years._

_He was able to reign in control of his nerves by the time he got to her room, and she was trying to make her way through a bad contraction._

_"Sam." She whined helplessly once it passed. He was over to her side in a minute. "Did you call Traci? Gail? My dad?"_

_Sam shook his head no, and was about to offer to do it, when the doctor came in to check on her. _

_"Looks like we're almost ready Andy, Dad, you can go change into a set of scrubs if you'd like." Dr. Sanderson pointed to a neatly folded set on the table by the door to the attached washroom._

_"Guess there's no time sweetheart. It'll be okay." He promised, before he kissed her on the forehead and disappeared into the washroom._

* * *

_"Cooper Thomas Swarek," Andy whispered gently as the warm bundle was handed to her. "I'm your mommy." _

_Her eyes began to tear up, but it wasn't because of the pain, not anymore. It was like amnesia, the minute she heard him cry out, and she was numb when he was in her arms. Sam was right next to her, half sitting on her bed, staring down at the life they'd just brought into the world, and put his arm around Andy, and one on the bundle of blankets, keeping Cooper warm and safe. _

_"And this is your daddy." She said, the tears evident in her voice, tilting him up so Sam could see him better. She lifted him high enough that Sam could hold him, and once he did, Andy never felt more complete. She hummed as she laid her head back on her pillow, and watched Sam cradle Cooper, gently swaying back and forth on his feet._

_Seeing Sam's dimples deeper than ever before made her smile her eyes fighting sleep. She spent sixteen hours in labor, but she didn't want to let sleep take over just yet. She waited nine months for that little boy, she wasn't going to pass out after his first nine minutes._

_Sam turned his smile to her, and just when she thought she couldn't be happier, Sam motioned for her to scoot over, and then passed Cooper back to her, before sliding onto the bed next to her. She stared in awe at their perfect son, and he put an arm around her._

_"This is our family." He whispered, kissing her sweaty head._

* * *

Sam and Cooper spent the entire day in the empty house, assigning room themes. It was going to be their man-house, as Cooper coined it. Said two single bachelors needed their own man space, making Sam laugh his deep throaty laugh.

"We should get going, your mom will be waiting." He says finally, opening the front door.

"I'm not staying with you tonight?" He asks, surprised, but making his way to the open door.

"Nope, not tonight buddy. It's poker night." He grins, knowing that Cooper's been begging to go along since he understood what cards were. When he was younger and Andy had to work and Tommy had a meeting, he'd bring him along and he and Leo would play go fish on smaller table next to poker table. Jerry loved sticking sun glasses on them and teaching them poker faces.

"Okay." He grumbles, running off to the truck.

* * *

They pulled up to a dark house, and Sam frowned a little as he pulled the keys out of the ignition. Cooper got out of the truck slowly, sliding his body off of the entire front seat dramatically as if he'd gone limp, and Sam got out nervously. It was only eight, no way Andy was asleep. Not a chance.

He walks a couple of steps in front of Cooper, making sure there was some kind of activity going on before he got to suspicious. As they approached the door, he sees a figure sitting on the couch from the front window, and she's sitting there in the dark. Normally he'd just walk right in, but knocks, gives her time if she needs to collect herself.

It winds up being the right choice as it takes her a few minutes. But when she does open the door, he notices her pink nose, and knows that things were worse with Luke than before.

"Hey baby!" She says, giving Cooper a pat on the shoulder as he moved past her to climb up the stairs. "What's wrong with him?"

Sam let one side of his mouth curve up as he answered, "Poker night. He's mad I won't let him come."

"Oh." She says quietly. "You can take him, if he wants to go."

Sam shakes his head as he studies her further, inspecting her face for other signs of crying, but the pink nose and blood shot eyes are it. For all he knows, she's got a cold.

"It's at Oliver's. Highly doubt he wants to let Izzy, Maddie and Katie put lip gloss on him for a couple of hours."

She smiles a little, nodding in understanding, probably dreaming up his and Katie's wedding. She retreats back, further into the house, and Sam assumes he's to follow. She pulls at the sleeves of the sweatshirt she's got on, and wraps her arms over her chest.

"Where's Luke?" He asks at last, deciding that this silence was too much for him to bare. He's not used to her being quiet, but for the last month it's all he's known from her.

And then she turns on her heal quickly, away from him. He waits about ten seconds, and then he sees her arms uncross and her had drop into her hands, and her shoulders shake.

"Hey, no. Andy, hey." He says softly, walking up behind her. He can't decide what to do with his hands, so he settles for placing his hands on her shoulders.

He turns her around after a moment, and she shrugs his hands off of her shoulders.

"It's Luke." She says, trying to get herself under control. The amount of times she's lost it in front of him in the last weeks is more than embarrassing, and she can't hold it together, which makes her want to fall apart even more.

"What about him?" He prods gently, following her as she turns back towards the doorway, and watches her open the door.

"Sam, I really don't want to talk to _you_ about this!" She whisper shouts, before going out onto the porch. The damn fucking porch.

He doesn't hesitate in following her. By now he knows it's his cue. But it's a little late in the fall for these outside talks, so when he gets out there, she's shivering on the swing, legs tucked up under her hoodie.

He leans against the banister of the porches deck and stares at her for a while, expecting her to break at some point, and when she doesn't, he prods further.

"I almost never made you cry."

"Pft. Clearly you don't remember our last few months." She laughed, another tear sliding down her cheek

"Oh I remember them perfectly. I've been spending six years thinking of all the things I should've done differently." He mutters quietly, a little angrily.

"What?"

He knows it's now or never. When he bought that house he wasn't expecting Andy to drop her life and move right on in like nothing ever happened, but he did have to start with his future. And he needed to know if it could include her again.

"Look, Andy, I know you've agreed to marry him, and if that's really what you want, what you think is best, then I'm going to let you. But if there's even the smallest chance that we can be a family again, I have to know. And I have to ask."

She has the tears in her eyes again, but she's sucking in her cheeks so hard like she's trying to vacuum them back in.

"No. Sam, we-"

"We were idiots, we were hot headed, but we always made up."

"You kept leaving!"

"I was trying to give you a better life than the one I had! I didn't want us each pulling two jobs, asking Tommy to watch him, it was bad enough that we were living in his house." He says back, trying not to yell, trying not to attract Cooper's attention.

She's not trying as hard...

She rises up off of the swing, and moves forward to the banister, bracing her hands on it too.

"Fine! The first time, I got it, we needed the money to pay off my student loans, to save money for a house, but you kept on going back with more excuses. We needed two cars, had to start saving for Coops college fund!"

"We did!"

"No we didn't Sam. You and me, we would've found a way. What I needed, was you! What Coop needed was his dad! We needed you!" Hearing the desperation and pain in her voice, knowing that Cooper had few memories of him before the age of four, he knows that she's right. She was always right to do what she did.

"I know I fucked up Andy. You know how I know? Because every damn time I come over here to get my son, I see you and Luke, like you're some kind of fucking family. The family I was trying to give you. The family I want back." He says, as quietly as he can manage, not quite quiet enough.

The shock in her eyes, the tears that she can't hold back anymore, the wrinkle in her eyebrows, all of it released with his declaration. He can see the look in her eyes that has her wanting to run inside, or have Cooper burst through that door and stop this altogether.

"What do you want me to do?" She asks, desperate for instructions, too tired to have this all on her plate.

"I want you not to marry him. I want you and me and Cooper under one roof. And if you give that a shot, I'm going to make you fall in love with me all over again." He promises, reaching for her hand that had released the banister. He watched her wide eyes as he brought the back of her hand to his mouth, and kissed it.

"That's the problem." She says, before he turns all the way away. "I never stopped."

Sam swears in that instant he forgot what oxygen was. His brain didn't remember to breathe, his lungs didn't know to let go of the air. His hand moves to her cheek, and her wide eyes close as she leans into his touch. Feeling his large hand there again, the gun calloused fingers, she melted.

But he dropped his hand away, realizing he couldn't let it happen like this, not while she was with Luke. _Engaged_ to him.

"What are you doing?" She asks, reaching for his hand.

"Not like this. I want you to choose me Andy. I want you to come to me when you're ready. In the house with the tire swing." He whispers, walking back out of her grasp.

She's about to ask him what the hell he means when it clicks. The house. Their house. He bought it. For them. For their family. The family he wants back.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: So sorry this took so long to get out. Real life and all that jazz. This will NOT be the last chapter, so there's that added bonus.**

* * *

_I want you not to marry him. _Check_. _

_I want you and me and Cooper under one roof._ He's got the roof.

_And if you give that a shot, I'm going to make you fall in love with me all over again. _She's there.

But she can't. She cannot possibly just go back to some picture perfect family out in the 'burbs' going to PTA meetings together like nothing ever happened. Like there was never anything wrong with them. Who knows how long he'll wait. Who knows if they won't fall back into how things used to be? Who knows if they will?

Andy doesn't really accept any of what Sam's said, not for a couple of days anyway. Sam waits in his truck when he goes to get Cooper a couple of days later.

Luke still hasn't contacted a realtor, and Andy wants Cooper to stay at Sam's while she looks for an apartment and stays with her dad, hasn't told Sam about the whole split yet. Cooper hasn't been informed yet either. Thought she'd tell him when she had a plan. But, she's going to have to tell them soon. Any day now. She's got a couple of bags packed in her room.

Basically she just doesn't know where to go from here.

So Sam waits, in his truck. He sticks to what he says. He wants her to go to him. He's made his offer, let his position be known and now he has to play the waiting game.

He knows his ex-wife well. She wants to wait him out. Let him forget what he was waiting for. Waiting for her to realize he wouldn't. Just... waiting.

* * *

When Sam pulls up to his building Cooper gives him an odd stare, and looks back out the window at his building, trying to get his bearings it seems like.

"What about the house?" He whines, jutting his bottom lip out. Sam unbuckles his seat belt and opens his door.

"It's in escrow." He says before closing his door.

Cooper stares curiously out at his dad, eyebrows furrowed together, trying to find that word in his vernacular, but comes up empty. He pushes his door open too, and slides right out of his seat.

"What's escrow?" He asks, slamming his door, running up to meet Sam's progress to the door.

"It means..." Sam's not so good at breaking things down for kids, that was always Andy's territory. "Just means I can't move in yet. A couple of weeks and you'll be helping me haul boxes. You been working out? Cause there's no way your Uncle Oliver's going to pitch in." He teases, putting up fists like he's ready to spar. Cooper ducks and dodges Sam's small swipes, not really anywhere close to his son and Sam laughs and walks on.

Cooper just walks up into the building, a little behind Sam, thinking about the tire swing.

By the time they've gotten up to the apartment rain has started coming down outside, so naturally, Cooper declares it hot chocolate weather. Sam obliges, forever the push-over dad. He always saw himself as strict. He was at work with the rookies. If they could see him at home when ever Cooper requests something, or the way he worries when he's pushed around in hockey... they wouldn't really fear him anymore.

"Luke hasn't been at home." Cooper says immediately after Sam puts the mug on the table in front of him. "Mom didn't say it, but he's staying at his brothers."

Sam looks at his son absolutely dumbfounded.

Kids going to be a detective at this rate, or some kind of spy. When Andy's determined to keep something to herself, there is only success. Nothing else. But this little boy, he's got a talent.

But Sam just can't help but freeze when he hears that maybe it's because she wants what he wants to, and she's going to take the risk and dive in with him. Clearly she wants to take some time though, but he's got more hope now than before. And it's only speculation... from a nine year old... so.

"Why's that?" Sam asks, staring at his son, until Cooper looks right back at him.

"Dunno. But mom's not wearing her ring." He says, fighting a tiny little grin, dimples barely making a mark on his cheeks, but there's a hint.

"Your moms not big on jewelry, I didn't even know she was wearing one..." And then his slightly photographic memory comes into mind. He kissed her hand the other night, the way her fingers felt. There was no ring. He searched further back in his memory. Seeing her hands wave or on Coops shoulders. "Wait! Cooper! Luke didn't give your mother an engagement ring!" Sam says, voice rising only a fraction of an octave.

"So maybe it's not in her jewelry box anymore." He says much more quietly, hiding behind his hot cup of cocoa.

"Cooper Thomas, have you been snooping in your moms room?" He says, even louder than before. None of the actual words or the meaning that his son was trying to convey get through to Sam right away, he's about to lecture him on keeping out his moms things. Privacy is privacy.

But then Cooper's smile gets bigger, and his dimples get a little deeper and a little light bulb goes off above his head.

* * *

Girls Night had been called into session when Andy hadn't spoken to Gail or Traci in a week, and demanded she show up at Traci's on their next night off. When Jerry answered their door, Andy wasn't quite sure how much they may already know. Yeah, Sam's private, but he's definitely not as cut off from talking as he used to be. Jerry's never his go to, but he's still the man's best friend. Ha! Man's best friend...

"Hey Andy, girls have already poured you a glass." He says, moving out of the door way for her to come in, kick off her shoes, give him a short hug and move into the kitchen.

Jerry went back to TV room, and Andy was kind of anxious that he was here to hear their chatter. C'mon, Sam's _best_ friend just a few feet away. She couldn't bring it up. She couldn't tell them. But just when Gail got done telling them about Lacy's dance teacher, AKA, bitch from hell, Jerry grabbed his jacket, said something about meeting 'the guys' at the bar. But obviously not Sam. Sam had Cooper. So, now was her window of opportunity.

"Luke and I called it off." She says after taking a generous sip of her red wine. Traci sputtered, attempting to keep her wine from spraying all over them moved her hand to cover her mouth. Gail's reaction was less dramatic, like maybe she didn't let what Andy said sink in right away.

"I'm sorry what?" Gail asks after a moment of awkward silence.

"Me and Luke? Not getting married, moving out, selling the house. Hey! You're still looking, you want it?" Andy asks, hoping to divert them, even knowing it's futile. Gail cocks her head a little and narrows her eyes at Andy, and Traci sets her glass down on the kitchen island.

"What the hell happened?" Traci asks, leaning closer over the counter.

"Sam Swarek happened." Gail mutters, going for another bottle, finding her glass empty already.

Andy rolls her eyes and Traci smiles weakly trying to school her reaction, not to mention, hoping that it's true.

"Luke and I just aren't in the same place. You know? He wants to have a baby... soon. And I'm hesitant. I don't think I want Cooper to have half brothers and sisters."

"But you'd have another if it was Sam's?" Gail questions, not leaving any room for pleasantries or dancing around the topic at hand.

Andy lets her head fall back and look up at the ceiling, trying to hide her frustration with Gail.

"I don't know." She says when Traci doesn't jump in, tell Gail that's not what they're focusing on right now. She's curious too. "Anyways, we just started fighting constantly, and just... we'd had enough. We were tired of fighting for our drowning relationship."

Traci ran a hand up and down Andy's back for a moment, forever the maternal one. Gail's expression softened when she realized that Andy had truly made the decision without any influence from her ex-husband. Now to drop the bomb, burst the bubble.

"And then a few hours later, when Sam came by... he bought our old house." She decides maybe that'll be easier for them to absorb first. Gail's eyes widen, but yet again, her mouth stays shut, and Traci lets out a very quiet 'aww'.

Gail could tell by her face that she wasn't finished just yet, and stared out down until she was ready to spit out the rest.

"He uh, he may have said some other things."

No one said a word, knowing that Andy would use anything against them as a distraction.

"He said he loves me, and he wants us, our family, and that he... that he'll respect my decision to marry Luke only if I can't see us together ever again." She says quickly watching Gail's face a lot more carefully than Traci's.

And finally she gets her reaction.

"Oh my God. Here we go again." Gail sighs, turning away to go the living room. They were all going to need a seat for the grand debate that was about to take place.

Ladies to their corners.

"I dunno Andy. We keep comin' back to the same - point. S'a risk. It would be bad for Cooper if it didn work out. But obviously neither of you have moved on. And obviously, neither of you really wanna." Traci says, bordering on slurring.

Gail's been slurring awhile now, and Andy's resting her head in her lap, receiving some loving affection in the form of fingers being run through her hair. Rare to see this side of Gail, but that's what happens when you split four bottles of wine between three women. Nice to see she's capable of it, to people other than her family.

"So?" Andy says, waving her hand in a forward circle, indicating she wants Traci to reveal the next step.

"So go slow." Traci says at last, putting her wine glass down.

"Slow is for turtles and snails!" Gail shouts, having been quiet too long. Traci and Andy burst into a fit of giggles, and Andy lazily throws a hand up to pat Gail's cheek. "How long s'been since you guys had sex? Six years? Get to makin them babies!"

"Aww babies." Andy pouts, remembering her admittance to Sam, and that she'd revealed that to her friends.

"No babies!" Traci interjects seriously before giggling as well. "But slow is for Andy too. Andy the turtle."

To say they woke up the next morning with a wicked hangover would be a bit of an understatement. They didn't even move from the couch, and woke to Jerry, Traci and Leo making breakfast in the kitchen. The sunlight would've been a kinder awakening than Gail flinging her legs over the side of the couch, tossing Andy's body to the floor.

"Owwww." Andy moaned once the pain registered. Gail grumbled something unintelligible, and stepped on Andy's hand before stumbling to the bathroom, leaving Andy in pain, confused and alone in the living room. She stayed like that for a while until Leo came out of the kitchen with a glass of water and plate of toast for his aunt.

The fourteen year old bean pole barely spoke more than he had to ever since entering his teens, and made Andy worry about the upcoming changes she might see in her son. But every once in a while, Leo would relieve a rooms tension, and remind them all that he was still there underneath, just figuring himself out.

"You're an angel." She groans, pushing herself up off the floor to sit on the couch. He just smirks at her and leaves the plate in front of her before stalking back to the kitchen, just as Traci was coming out.

"Hey there. Good thing we're not working till tonight huh?" Traci laughs, clearly in better shape than the other two. "Called Sam, asked him if he could drop Cooper here in a little bit."

Andy groans, and nearly turned, ready to fall face first into the couch cushions. Until she realized the head rush would cause her brains to explode. Only then did she restrain herself.

"In fact, that was a while ago, so... any minute they should be here. Wanna go freshen up? Throw some water on your face, deodorant. Anything?"

Andy knows she's joking, but neither of those things are a bad idea.

* * *

"Why am I going to aunt Traci's?" Cooper asks as Sam's walking him up to the door.

"Because your mom has a hangover." Sam smiles brightly, loving the Andy's wild child ways were giving him an edge in the good parenting side of things. Though the fact that she was drinking because she called off her wedding, and relationship, that doesn't make him feel as great. Especially since she's playing the waiting game. Good chance she'd just decide to be alone.

"What's a hangover?"

"Nothing you've got to worry about for another ten years buddy. She's fine. Don't worry." He says before blowing out a deep breath and knocking on the door.

Jerry swung it open half a minute later, and already he could tell they were a bit of a full house this morning. Traci had breakfast going in the kitchen, Leo was guiding Gail to a chair, and Andy was just coming out of the bathroom when Cooper and Sam walked in.

"Hey mom!" He says when he spots her, and she puts on a smile, even if he did shout a little too loudly.

"Hey kid." She says, tone hushed. "How was your yesterday?"

She planted an embarrassingly big kiss on his cheek, making Leo snicker from the kitchen, causing Cooper to go red. Jerry had long since returned to the kitchen, leaving the three of them alone.

"Good." He says, starting to unzip his coat. When he doesn't elaborate or throw Andy a bone, Sam butts in.

"Yeah, we uh, learned all sorts of things. Like the word escrow. Right bud?"

Cooper gets that devious little smile on his face and lets out a small laugh.

"Yeah dad, and hangover."

Sam looks back up to Andy immediately who has an eyebrow quirked pointedly at him. He just gives her a shrug of his shoulders. She's the reason he knows.

"Hey Coop!" Traci calls from the kitchen. "Want to help me break a couple of eggs? Feed the crowd?"

Cooper doesn't hesitate and takes off toward the sound of his honourary aunt. They laugh at his eager run, but as the humor wears off, they're both just staring down at their feet waiting for something to call them away.

"I think maybe we should talk." Andy says at last, breaking the silence, and her waiting game all at once.

"I'll be at the house all day." He replies, right before moving towards the door. "Stop by whenever you're ready."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't been as good with updates as I normally am, but some of you well know, I've been in a bought of writers block. Thankfully, I think I'm over it. And good news for you, there's a little more to this story beyond this chapter. In what form it'll come, I don't know... but there IS more.**

* * *

Leo took Cooper to the skate park soon after breakfast, and Andy gave them money for the movies after, allowing Andy a little time to get herself together and go over her plan with Traci one last time. She wasn't remembering too much of last night's discussion today. Not with all the ringing in her head.

Traci made sure she drank a couple of glasses of water and an Advil before even considering heading off to Sam's, and Traci asked her exactly what she was going to say.

"I don't know. I guess... just... I'll do this on one condition, my rules, my pace?" She asks more than states.

"Don't ask me Andy, just, see how things go." Traci says, handing Andy her jacket. Luckily for her, Traci is a good friend. Lent her a shirt and sweater so she wouldn't look as disheveled as she felt. Lent her a new toothbrush and face wash, deodorant. She still had a tube of mascara rolling around the bottom of her purse, threw a little of that on too.

When she's done looking in the mirror in Traci's hallway, she throws the jacket on, wraps her scarf around her neck.

"Wish me luck."

"Luck." Traci calls after her friend who was already on her way to the curb. She leans her head against the door, and Jerry sneaks an arm around her waist, and puts his chin on her shoulder.

"He'll get her this time." He insists, fairly certain that his best buddy has got it this time. He's seen the changes, heard about the old house. Knows he'll probably end up hauling boxes again...

"Yeah, but will he keep her?" Traci asks, cheekily, turning her head and kissing him on the cheek, before leaving him to wonder that alone in the doorway.

* * *

She sits in her car for a couple of minutes after she pulls up in front of the house. Door's wide open, despite how cold it's been getting. Sam's tailgate is down and she sees his toolbox back there and a couple of cardboard boxes.

She finally unbuckles her seatbelt and opens her door to the oncoming traffic, causing a van to swerve and curse at her. But in her state of distraction she doesn't even register to wave an apology or look it's way. She just walks across the front lawn, stopping briefly at the tire swing. She used to have this dream of wearing a sun dress and Sam pushing her while they both worked on an ice cream cone. It was weirdly 50's and white picket fence-y but... that was the dream she wanted.

She knocks at the door, stepping in cautiously, sees Sam painting the wall by the stairs just to the right.

"You came." He says, when he turns to her. He's got a black t-shirt on today. She couldn't tell this morning under his jacket, but, it looks like one of the ones he shrunk in the wash. He reminds her so much of Joe from Brotherly Love, and she wonders how she didn't see it before. No way are those tight shirts some kind of sizing accident.

"Thought the house was in escrow." Is all she dares to say, afraid she might voice her opinion about that black shirt, hugging his biceps...

"It is, but Tyler and Olivia said I could come in and start painting. Walls needed a new coat anyways." He continues painting, looking away from her.

New coat, fresh coat, new start. She gets it.

She looks at him a second longer before taking another step into the room.

"You've got questions?" He asks, but really he's more just stating it. He watches her look around the newly painted living room, clutching her purses handle in both hands. She turns in a full circle, her coat open and swinging out beside her.

"A few. Like... uh..." She starts absently taking in all the details in the hearth's carved wood. That wasn't there when they lived here. She wondered briefly what else may have changed... probably quite a few things. Years had passed. They'd changed, house, no doubt, had changed too.

"Why did I buy the house?" He offers, tentatively watching her take in the empty living room.

"For starters." She scoffs, frustrated that she can't vocalize what she wants. That the house is too much of a curve ball to keep her mind on the right track.

"Remember when your dad contacted you when you got back to Toronto?"

"Yeah." She laughs. Day she saw and met him. Of course she remembers.

He puts down his paint brush finally, and turns away from the wall, rubs his hand together to be sure there's no wet paint on his hands.

"He'd been sober two years, but he didn't tell you. Didn't want to ask anything of you until he knew he could do it. That's why I'm doing this. It's not about making you say yes. It's about giving you a reason to. Hoping you can trust in me, even when the past says otherwise."

She nods, understanding why he took this risk, why he wasn't pushing this. But she couldn't believe that one way or another he was getting just what he'd set out for. That he'd plain out said what he wanted and that was enough.

"What if I told you that I'm not ready?" She asks, testing him before things get caught up. What he said was beautiful and perfect and she knew that he'd give her the world if she wanted it, but could he give her some time.

"Then I'd tell you that my door is always open." He says as easy as anything. She can see the faintest of disappointment in his eyes.

He turns back to his wall, picks up his paint brush and returns to the task at hand. How can he be so collected right now? This is what makes him such a great cop, but she could always through it, this is him. This isn't some facade, he's really prepared for this.

As much as she wishes she was ready for this, now, she's not. She needs time to get a little space, and be on her own. Deal with the consequences of calling off a wedding.

"I'm going to be at my dad's for a while. Can Coop stay with you for the next couple of weeks?" She asks, knowing that she needs to find them an apartment for the time being.

"Of course." He says, not looking away from his wall, truly trying to immerse himself at the task he's assigned to himself.

* * *

_"Andy he's not even walking yet." Sam said gently as she struggles with the toilet seat in the main floor bathroom. It's Sunday, which meant Andy was cleaning the entire house. Her odd little schedule, and need to keep things in pristine condition now that they're home owners. "We didn't need to baby proof so early."_

_She looked at him from under her messy and frizzy bangs, huffing a breath to move them._

_"It could happen soon."_

_"He's got a few more months... he's only six months old." He said, bending down to assist her get the seat up._

_Once he got it, she stood abruptly, nearly knocking him on his ass, and crossed her arms over her chest, rubber gloves squeaking against each other. He's got the baby monitor attached to his belt, and for a while he doesn't know what to say, and the only noise around them were Coopers soft and steady breaths._

_"Why don't you go to gym, work off some of this frustration. I'll finish up down here." He said, reaching for her hand, attempting to slip off the gloves while he spoke._

_"No. I still have to vacuum, and you won't be able to hear the baby monitor." She insisted, tugging her hands back, one glove still on. She moved around him and went into the kitchen to get the rest of the cleaning products from under the sink, and when she struggled with that guard too, she ripped the other glove off and threw it to the floor. She kind of let out some frustrated battle cry, shrieking only slightly at the end of it. And then her grumbles turned to whimpers, and this look of defeat took over._

_"Hey, baby, calm down." He said, opening his arms to her. She gave him a little pout before stalking heavy footedly into his embrace. He wrapped his arms around her, and used a hand to smooth over her hair._

_She breathed in deeply and exhaled on a five second interval, calming down quickly, and returned Sam's hug._

_"How about, for once, we live on the edge, and vacuum tomorrow." He suggested, noticing her soothed state. "I'll get some time with my boy, and you take a little time for yourself. Add an extra kilometer to your run today."_

_Andy's maternity leave had been spent mostly just figuring out schedules, and motherhood itself. Only occurred to her last month that she would have to get back in shape and go back to work eventually. She hadn't been concerned with the shape she was in, or that it was rounder and softer than usual. Sam made it abundantly clear that he loved her all forms she came in. Toned and trim, round and swollen, just a little pudgy post-pregnancy. _

_(Had a thing for her love handles actually, said it always gave him something to grab onto.)_

_So she had to start reminding her body how to eat right, and exercise often, which was not easy to do with a baby at home. But with Sam cutting down his hours a little, it's been getting easier._

_"Okay. Are you two going to be alright?"_

_"We'll manage. It'll be tough, but we will."He smiled, despite the sarcasm. Five months later she still has a problem leaving him behind. Still a bit of separation anxiety there, but that too was something she'd been working on._

_"Thank you." She whispered, kissing him softly._

_"Any time."_

* * *

"Sam, look at me." She says, deciding that they haven't said all there is to say. Deciding to stop stepping on eggshells, like he'll leave if she says the wrong thing. He drops his head a little and lets out a sigh, but he doesn't turn to her. "Sam!"

He puts the brush down again, and stands to face her, hands on his hips, searching her face, urging her to say what she wants so badly to say.

"How do we make it work this time? How do I know this won't end just like last time?"

He looks at his feet, trying to vocalize the faith he has this time around. He's not sure that he can, but he has to offer her something.

"I know that it's not just enough to provide, that I need to be here, for both of you. That we're a team, it's not all on me. I know that I need to be here, and that _we_ need to keep talking to each other, so we don't lose out on the marriage we always wanted."

Andy nods in agreement, accepting that she didn't try hard enough to tell him that things weren't working before it was too late. Accepting that he wasn't the only one who ignored needs.

"Will it work?" She asks, not looking his way anymore. Turning her attention back to the carved wood of the hearth.

His eyes follow her across the room while he thinks of what else might convince her. But he can't make her promise he can't keep.

"I don't know. I have no idea."

She looks back to him, with a sad look on her face, but nods.

"I'm not ready yet. And I don't know when I will be. I won't ask you to wait for me-"

"I've had the option to move on for six years Andy."

"You were working..."

"I was. But I'm not anymore. It's not the reason I didn't try. You were." He says firmly, hands dropping from his hips to his side. "I didn't stop loving you."

When she hears the words, she feels like it's a bit of a dig. She _did_ move on, almost completely. She goes defensive.

"I didn't stop either!" It should be a delicate declaration, that makes them both feel so much, but instead it's a mindless cry, trying to make him see that this is mutual.

"I know. Luke was... an illusion, or maybe you loved him too, I don't know." He says, letting her know his intention was never malicious. "I don't blame you. You found a man who was here, and who cared about _both_ of you. I'm glad he was there for you when I wasn't."

She hangs her head, knowing that she's just enforcing his need to dwell, and blame himself. That she's not taking enough credit for the disaster.

"You were. When it mattered."

"It always matters Andy."

The ten feet that once separated them when she arrived has disappeared, and she's less than two feet away from him. He could reach out and touch her cheek, or pull her close, or just put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"We're going to make it work this time." She says finally. "We will. Because failure is not an option. I won't survive it again."

He looks at her surprised to see her 180, but before he has time to ask her where that came from, she closes the distance. Puts her hands on either side of his neck, and pulls him the rest of the way to her, kissing him the way she's wanted to since that night on her couch. Since the other week on her porch. The way she's wanted to for the last six years.

He could get lost in her lips, he's missed them so much.

The way she knows when to give and receive, the way they're soft and strong. The taste of her raspberry rose lip balm she's always used. Her lips are like oxygen after being held under a rip tide.

When she pulls away, he makes sure he's holding her right up against him, so she won't get too far away, ever again.

"I still need a little time. But... we _will_ work."

Sam just nods, then moves in again. He's been under water for far too long.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: For a while there I thought this chapter was going to go on and on and on. But I held myself back, and I think I've found the perfect place to end this story. I know most chapters were bitter sweet, always with an angsty twist. I think we can all agree that this angst free chapter is nothing but smiles for everyone.**

**Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to review all these chapters. It's been fun.**

* * *

"C'mon sweetheart one more big push!" Sam chants in her ear, keeping her hand up close to his heart, so maybe he can focus on its quickened pace rather than her death grip.

"GOD! Why didn't it hurt this bad with Cooper." She whined, bracing herself for the last push . He kisses her hand quickly.

"You were only twenty five sweet-"

"URGH. Shut up!" She screams before he can even finish his sentence.

No chance at muscle memory this time around, he was going to add. She'd probably dig her nails in if he did.

She doesn't even get the chance to glare back at him though, before the doctor is telling Andy the same thing.

"Alright Andy, I see the head, just one more push and your baby's here." Dr. Patel assures her, like he'd know or something. Andy really just wants to pull her foot out of the stirrup and kick him out cold, but the prospect of her baby finally being here, being in her arms, she must resist. Nothing is more precious to her at this moment than bringing her baby girl safely into the world.

* * *

_"When should we tell him?" Andy asked between heated kisses, backed up against the inside of Sam's front door... their future and past front door, after dropping Cooper off at Tommy's for the night._

_It had been a torturous a few long weeks of knowing looks, and Andy dealing with the repercussions of breaking off her engagement._

_(Selling their house, finding an apartment without a long lease, putting most of her things in storage, setting Cooper up at Sam's.)_

_And then finally one night, when Cooper was too tired after his hockey game, and Sam dropped them at home, she announced that she was ready, but wasn't ready for Cooper to know._

_ Cooper had coerced them into hockey being a family thing, not just son and father. Andy was honoured, and went to every game she didn't have to work. Usually she and Luke went when Sam had to work, but no more. And if they both had to work, Tommy stood in, usually got a little too riled up._

_(He's been thrown out of two games, once for yelling at the refs, once for telling Cooper to flatten some kid who tripped him. Had to be constantly reminded they were an amateur __**kids**__ league.)_

_So here they were, sneaking around behind their eight year old sons back, for the thrill, and caution of it all. It'd been two weeks of hiding goodbye kisses, and subtle flirting when his back was turned. Twice she'd set up for him to stay at a friend's house just so she could spend some time with her ex-husband/boyfriend._

_Things were going better than either of them had planned._

_"You wanna tell him already?" Sam asked, detaching his lips from her neck, looking at her with plenty of surprise all over his face. She whimpered when he heat from his tongue had disappeared, then focused on what he had said._

_"You don't?" Andy replied, suddenly afraid that maybe he was starting to think they shouldn't be doing this again, like things weren't going as good as she'd interpreted. _

_"No, no, no, of course I do, I was just waiting on you." He said quickly, easing her, letting her know that he'd never not be ready for what comes next._

_The heat in the moment had begun to decline as they got deeper and deeper into conversation about how to handle telling him, if they should start moving her into the house, what to do about her lease..._

_They wound up spending their free night together just sitting on the couch, laughing and talking, sharing. Being them. It's one of the first times they've been back together alone without any other agenda, just to talk. And it feels like not all is forgotten, but it's been forgiven._

* * *

"Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Swarek, you have a healthy baby girl." Dr. Patel announced only moments later, holding up scissors and the umbilical cord for Sam to cut.

Soon after, the hot, wrinkly, crying bundle was handed to Andy, and she cried in relief and joy, staring down at her little miracle.

"Oh Emma. You're perfect." She blubbered, memorizing her baby's mouth and tiny fingers, running a finger over her small head of black hair. Just like her daddy. "Look at her."

She looked at Sam, big crocodile tears spilling freely from her eyes, trying so hard to keep somewhat sane. But when Sam let a couple of his own fall, she knew it didn't matter. They were both just so grateful to be here together, healthy mother and daughter.

Andy was more of mess than she had been when Cooper made his entrance into the world. She'd been composed and ready, like she was born to be a mother. But this was a different journey altogether. She never could've imagined them here two years ago.

* * *

_It was the night of Cooper's ninth birthday that they sat him down and told him about them._

_She showed up at Sam's door, didn't come as much of a surprise to Cooper, they always tried to do his birthday together, just the three of them until the last year. So he welcomed his mom in, shut the door behind her. _

_They'd noticed him beginning to give up on setting them up when they hadn't immediately found their way back to one another when she ended her engagement. Cooper thought for sure it'd be something out of a movie in the end. He'd interrupt the wedding, whisk them out of the church._

_But that wasn't what happened. His parents behaved the way they always had. It was about being parents, not being together. He'd look up at the bleachers in warm up before a game, and they'd be sitting in their respective seats, talking animatedly, but guardedly. _

_Little did Cooper know, the minute the whistle blew, and the puck was dropped, they were holding hands._

_"Cooper, me and your dad have something to tell you about your present. And we just want to hear how you'd feel about it." Andy began, looking at Sam for cues as to how she was doing. When he smiled back her way, she turned her full attention to their son._

_"Coop, your mom was thinking about staying here with us." He chimed in, watching Coopers gaze shift between them, wondering if they were really saying what he was hearing._

_"You mean... like, permanently?" He asked slowly, staring at his parents who were side by side doubled over, elbows on the counter across from him._

_Sam took the opportunity to move behind Andy, pull her upright, and give her a hug from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder._

_"Yeah baby, permanently." Andy said softly, still gauging his reaction._

_When a huge smile broke out his face the first thing he said, "I knew it! I knew it!"_

_Andy breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled widely at her boy, hugging Sam's arms that were wrapped around her waist._

_Cooper basically threw himself from his stool, and tumbled to the floor, immediately scrambling to his feet to hug his parents. Sam untangled himself from Andy, and let Cooper squeeze her tight first, before joining in, cocooning his family, safely in his arms._

_"Is this my only present?" Cooper asked later, in fear that maybe his dad had forgotten his request for a Leafs jersey and tickets._

_Sam and Andy shared a smile, knowing that even if it were, it'd be more than enough._

* * *

In the post delivery bliss, Andy got lost at staring down at the bundled baby in her arms, and hadn't even noticed Sam slip out into the hall to get Cooper until the door was opening again, and the tired boy made his way in. Granted it was 2AM, but Cooper had insisted that his parents wake him up when his sister was here, and Traci brought him down to the hospital, bless her heart.

"Hi Mom." He said quietly, minding his sleeping sister. "Hi Emma." He said as he got even closer to the bed, looking at her tiny little face, and fists curled up by her head.

His walk slows the closer he gets, light foot falls, just to be extra cautious. The way they'd talked about her pregnancy around him, you'd think she was living in bubble wrap.

Andy began to slide over in the bed, but instead of Sam taking the spot, like he had when it had been Cooper, she pulled Cooper up next her.

"Sam could you grab a couple of pillows please." She said as calmly as Cooper had ever heard her speak.

He obliged, and grabbed them from the empty bed next to her, and one of the many behind her, and made a barrier around Coopers arms, anticipating that Andy was going to let Cooper hold his sister for the first time.

Andy watched on as Sam positioned Cooper's arms, and explained the importance of supporting her head, and while Cooper looked terrified, Sam smiled at him, told him he'd be fine. Cooper was going to be the protective type of brother, they just knew.

* * *

_It had only been eight months that they'd been living together as a family that Andy found out, that for the second time, in this same bathroom, that she was pregnant. After having revealed to Sam that she'd thought of having a baby girl, he revealed to her that he would be more than open to the idea. Leaving her to wonder if the risk was worth the heartbreak if she couldn't. _

_If she couldn't give him the daughter they both wanted, if she lost a baby... she'd always counted her blessings that she'd never known that pain before, but feeling it now, risking it now, she wasn't sure if she was strong enough._

_She started looking into it. The statistics of carrying a baby to term in her mid-thirties, and while they were still in her favor, she wasn't fully convinced. She started looking into fertility tests, to see if it was possible, and safe, to see if her body was as strong as she believed it to be._

_Only after talking to a couple of different OBGYN's, Sam and Cooper, she decided it was worth a shot, now or never, not willing to wait any longer. Decided that she would guard her body like Fort Knox for nine months._

_Hated it when people used to say' your body is a temple'. Used to associate the expression with yoga and kale smoothie, but no longer. Her body __**was**__ a temple now, guarding and incubating this little life. _

_She thought telling Cooper would be the hardest part. He'd never been fond of the idea of siblings when Luke was still in the picture, but with Sam, he had no trouble accepting it at all. Got right down to asking if she was already pregnant. _

_And so, they started trying. She even downloaded an app to tell her when she was ovulating, to Sam's objections. Got one for him too... just in case he was at work and could take an early lunch. _

_After five months, and five failed tests, five rounds of frustrated tears and nearly giving up to save them from more pain. But here in her hands was the positive result she'd been waiting for. And though she was so happy, she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by fear._

_Fear of losing what she might never have had._

_"You're going to be a big brother." She announced right in the middle of dinner, causing two forks to drop immediately, clattering down on their plates. Sam is too shell shocked to speak, but Cooper is prepared for smiles, and questions, and Andy is answering him as best she can, keeping a careful eye on Sam._

_When Cooper has exhausted everything that comes to mind, he goes back to his dinner, smiling down at his plate, chopping up more steak._

_Sam was not so quick on the uptake. Could be that he was finally getting hit with the fact that he's doing this all over again at the age of forty, but she could almost convince herself he was running numbers through his head and would get up and call Boyd at any second in the time it took him to smile. But smile he did. She saw the same relief she felt, followed by the same fear that came soon after._

_She'd had a few hours to process and decided that she wasn't going to spend the pregnancy in constant fear. She could control what she could control. _

* * *

"I didn't think I'd like having a little sister." Cooper whispers, after Andy had fallen asleep, finally trying to get some rest. Sam's holding Emma close to his chest, sitting in the chair, next to Andy's bed, where Cooper was still seated.

"Why's that buddy?" Sam asks, eyebrows furrowed, and surprised that Cooper hadn't let on. He gets that from Andy.

"I don't know. Just always wanted a brother." He says, shrugging his shoulders. "But she's pretty cute."

Cooper smiles, real genuine, big and sure that he's plenty happy with just a healthy baby sister.

"Yeah, I think we'll keep her." Sam jokes, smiling right back at Cooper. "Lie back, get some shut eye kid. You'll be up with me and your mom for the next two years."

Sam wouldn't mind staying up holding his baby girl for the rest of his life. Sam wouldn't mind a lot of things any more. He could take any crap thrown his way for the rest of his days, so long as he has his family waiting for him at home.

They were resilient, the Swareks, and despite Andy's protests of not making their next wedding a big one or maybe not bothering with one at all, Sam isn't going to settle this time. He's going to take his time, and enjoy all of it, and be there, more than anything else. Andy'd be a Swarek again before she knew it.


End file.
